On Tom Jones...
Saturday, 12 June 2004 08:03![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
apollaNo, not the book, the dude. You know, hip-swiveling, big-voiced, orange-faced Welsh dude?
Right, well it's not a secret that I don't like him much. I love Mark Lamarr's occasional impressions of him on Never Mind The Buzzcocks, and I didn't hate the cover of 'Burning Down the House' he did with the Cardigans (It was funky). But I don't like him. My favourite Lamarr Tom Joke:
When he first started out, people thought Tom Jones was American and black. Of course, now we know he's Welsh and orange.
I've always had a sneaking admiration for that big, booming voice, although I've never liked the music he's put it to (Delilah, for God's sake!). It's very worn now, and you can hear that he's spent 40 years bellowing. The fact he's twatting about nowadays in his black suits, orange face, thinning curly hair and weird goatee trying to do stuff like 'Black Betty' is to me a sign of an extremely addled bloke trying to be hip and down with the kidz. His version of Prince's 'Kiss' didn't entirely suck, but is very much of it's time.
But since my marathon Watch-Every-Bond-Film-Ever-Made-Including-The-Unofficial-Ones-And-The-Shitey-Moore-Ones, I've been listening to the Bond songs that caught my ear along the way. 'Under The Mango Tree' from Dr. No, 'Nobody Does It Better' by Carly Simon (A great song, FYI), 'A View To A Kill' by Duran Fucking Duran (only for the catchiness of it, man) and 'Thunderball' by Tom Jones.
Thunderball was one of my favourites of the 20(ish) movies I saw. Ditto The Spy Who Loved Me (with Carly's song). Perhaps the songs I like reflect the films I like best, I don't know. I do know that I didn't quite recognise Tom's voice when I watched the video. It was like 'Hmm, he sounds a bit like Tom Jones'.
Then I realised that I am of the generation that has grown up with only the Parody Tom Jones. The orange guy who used to have knickers thrown at him. He's always been something of a parody (have you not seen the pics of 60s/70s him in a fur coat and speedos by his pool at his mansion drinking champagne? *shudder*) but for my generation, the parody extends to the music, which we consider High Kitsch of the highest order.
Then after that, I realised that I really like 'Thunderball'. You know that horrible 'overdoing it' he seems to do now? It's hardly there in this one. Only the incredibly long sustained note at the end (which is rumoured to have caused him to faint) really says that this is a Tom Jones Record. And that last note? Fucking amazing, man. One day, I want to sing like that. It would be worth turning into a permatanned twat for that one moment of greatness.
Anyway, cos it's 7.41am and I'm not in bed yet:
Bold what you've seen all the way through.
Italicize what you've seen part of.
Underline what you own (on DVD or video, I assume, not the copyright of).
Add three of your own
01. Trainspotting (don't have the patience for the whole lot, and drug movies aren't my bag)
02. Shrek
03. M
04. Dogma
05. Strictly Ballroom
06. The Princess Bride
07. Love Actually
08. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
09. The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
10. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
11. Reservoir Dogs (Although I'm a big fan of movie violence, this has only dropped on my radar occasionally and in snippets. Have seen the ear/Stuck In The Middle With You scene. Great)
12. Desperado
13. Swordfish
14. Kill Bill Vol. 1
15. Donnie Darko
16. Spirited Away
17. Better Than Sex
18. Sleepy Hollow
19. Pirates of the Caribbean
20. The Eye
21. Requiem for a Dream
22. Dawn of the Dead
23. The Pillow Book
24. The Italian Job The old one. I'll see the new one when I can be bothered.
25. The Goonies
26. Baseketball Caught the tail end. Couldn't tell you what the fuck was going on.
27. The Spice Girls Movie Insert 'You know there's nothing on TV at Christmas when...' joke. It was fucking risible.
28. Army of Darkness
29. The Color Purple
30. The Saftey of Objects
31. Can't Hardly Wait
32. Mystic Pizza
33. Finding Nemo
34. Monsters Inc.
35. Circle of Friends 'Ah Jaysus, let's all be pretending how we're Oirish, sure'
36. Mary Poppins
37. The Bourne Identity
38. Forrest Gump
39. A Clockwork Orange Because I can't honestly remember whether I've seen it all or not.
40. Kindergarten Cop Insert another 'You know there's nothing on Christmas telly when...' punchline.
41. On The Line
42. My Big Fat Greek Wedding
43. Final Destination
44. Sorority Boys Insert 'You've got two hours before the next bus to UCI from the Spectrum and nothing else is on...' joke here. I nearly pulled my fingernails out.
45. Urban Legend
46. Cheaper by the Dozen (original version) BUT! I did see the new version the other day. Wasn't as sucky as I expected.
47. Fierce Creatures
48. Dude, Where's My Car I'm fairly sure that even if I had seen this all the way through, it would make as much sense.
49. Ladyhawke
50. Ghostbusters
51. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade Watched it yet again just yesterday. Love it, man.
52. Back to the Future
53. An Affair To Remember
54. Somewhere In Time
55. North By Northwest Never been a Hitch sorta girl.
56. Moulin Rouge I assume you mean the new 'not as good as people think' version and not the Gabor/Ferrer version, which I've not seen all the way through.
57. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
58. The Wizard of Oz Special edition box set, spank you very much!
59. Zoolander I love Bowie's cameo.
60. A Walk to Remember *shudders at recollection* Insert 'REALLY nothing on at Christmas...' joke.
61. Chicago *snerk* Is this the sub-par shite that passes as a MUSICAL these days?
62. Vanilla Sky *snore*
63. The Sweetest Thing
64. Don't Tell Mom the Babysitters Dead
65. The Nightmare Before Christmas
66. Chasing Amy
67. Edward Scissorhands
68. Adventures of Priscilla: Queen of the Desert I've seen all kinds of fragments, not least the bit where Terence Stamp drinks some bloke under the table.
69. Muriel's Wedding
70. Croupier Was on telly the other day and missed it.
71. Blade Runner
72. Cruel Intentions
73. Ocean's Eleven Whether you mean the Excellent Original or the Only OK remake, the answer is the same. I only own the original, however.
74. Magnolia
75. Fight Club I can't remember why I didn't get to the end, although I was watching at home on tv, so it's possible my gitface brother interrupted.
76. Beauty and The Beast
77. Much Ado About Nothing
78. Dirty Dancing Owning it was the only way I managed to see the whole thing. It sucks, btw.
79. Gladiator This sucks too.
80. Ever After
81. Braveheart
82. What Lies Beneath
83. Regarding Henry
84. The Dark Crystal
85. Star Wars I have underlined this because although there are copies of said movies in existence in my house, they don't belong to me. Good thing too.
86. The Birds Like I said, not a huge Hitch fan.
87. Beaches I caught the tail end, then promptly caught diabetes.
88. Cujo
89. Maid In Manhattan For my sins, my sisters, for my sins.
90. Labyrinth
91. Thoroughly Modern Millie
92. His Girl Friday Wish this made it onto TCM or something more often.
93. Chocolat
94. Independence Day I think I'm the only non-American who likes this movie. I'm one for End of World Is Nigh, Movie Stars Come Save Us! mindless entertainment.
95. Singin' in the Rain The Best Musical Ever Made. And you'll notice I amended the title on the meme. n', not ng, people.
96. Big Fish (hoping to rent tomorrow)
97. The Thomas Crown Affair Have seen bits of both versions.
98. The Matrix Don't remember much of it.
99. Stargate
100. A Hard Day's Night My dears, I could recite the whole fucking movie to you. Help! too.
101. About A Boy *snores*
102. Jurassic Park Saw it in the cinema. Hated it. Was more scared by evil venom spitting git than T-Rex or velociraptors.
103. Life of Brian
104. Dune
105. Event Horizon
106. Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels The first time was lying in the aisle of a coach rumbling through Germany at 2am.
107. Dead Fire
108. The Never Ending Story it's possible I saw all this as a kid, but I don't remember. Don't much care, to tell you the truth.
109. Resident Evil
110. Lara Croft: Tomb Raider I am unashamed in liking this movie. Mindless, funny action movies are an overly maligned art form. Taped off the telly.
111. Pure Country
112. The Evil Dead
113. The Stand
114. Clue
115. My Best Friend's Wedding It's on a double feature video with Steel Magnolias. Do you get more Chick Flicky than that. Has hardly been watched.
116. A Perfect World
117. The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938)
118. Casablanca I can't believe this isn't on the list yet. Fools.
Some Like It Hot Or this.
119. Gone With The Wind Yes, I know it only said three, but that's not enough. YOU MUST LEARN, MY CHILDREN!
Right, well it's not a secret that I don't like him much. I love Mark Lamarr's occasional impressions of him on Never Mind The Buzzcocks, and I didn't hate the cover of 'Burning Down the House' he did with the Cardigans (It was funky). But I don't like him. My favourite Lamarr Tom Joke:
When he first started out, people thought Tom Jones was American and black. Of course, now we know he's Welsh and orange.
I've always had a sneaking admiration for that big, booming voice, although I've never liked the music he's put it to (Delilah, for God's sake!). It's very worn now, and you can hear that he's spent 40 years bellowing. The fact he's twatting about nowadays in his black suits, orange face, thinning curly hair and weird goatee trying to do stuff like 'Black Betty' is to me a sign of an extremely addled bloke trying to be hip and down with the kidz. His version of Prince's 'Kiss' didn't entirely suck, but is very much of it's time.
But since my marathon Watch-Every-Bond-Film-Ever-Made-Including-The-Unofficial-Ones-And-The-Shitey-Moore-Ones, I've been listening to the Bond songs that caught my ear along the way. 'Under The Mango Tree' from Dr. No, 'Nobody Does It Better' by Carly Simon (A great song, FYI), 'A View To A Kill' by Duran Fucking Duran (only for the catchiness of it, man) and 'Thunderball' by Tom Jones.
Thunderball was one of my favourites of the 20(ish) movies I saw. Ditto The Spy Who Loved Me (with Carly's song). Perhaps the songs I like reflect the films I like best, I don't know. I do know that I didn't quite recognise Tom's voice when I watched the video. It was like 'Hmm, he sounds a bit like Tom Jones'.
Then I realised that I am of the generation that has grown up with only the Parody Tom Jones. The orange guy who used to have knickers thrown at him. He's always been something of a parody (have you not seen the pics of 60s/70s him in a fur coat and speedos by his pool at his mansion drinking champagne? *shudder*) but for my generation, the parody extends to the music, which we consider High Kitsch of the highest order.
Then after that, I realised that I really like 'Thunderball'. You know that horrible 'overdoing it' he seems to do now? It's hardly there in this one. Only the incredibly long sustained note at the end (which is rumoured to have caused him to faint) really says that this is a Tom Jones Record. And that last note? Fucking amazing, man. One day, I want to sing like that. It would be worth turning into a permatanned twat for that one moment of greatness.
Anyway, cos it's 7.41am and I'm not in bed yet:
Bold what you've seen all the way through.
Italicize what you've seen part of.
Underline what you own (on DVD or video, I assume, not the copyright of).
Add three of your own
01. Trainspotting (don't have the patience for the whole lot, and drug movies aren't my bag)
02. Shrek
03. M
04. Dogma
05. Strictly Ballroom
06. The Princess Bride
07. Love Actually
08. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
09. The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
10. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
11. Reservoir Dogs (Although I'm a big fan of movie violence, this has only dropped on my radar occasionally and in snippets. Have seen the ear/Stuck In The Middle With You scene. Great)
12. Desperado
13. Swordfish
14. Kill Bill Vol. 1
15. Donnie Darko
16. Spirited Away
17. Better Than Sex
18. Sleepy Hollow
19. Pirates of the Caribbean
20. The Eye
21. Requiem for a Dream
22. Dawn of the Dead
23. The Pillow Book
24. The Italian Job The old one. I'll see the new one when I can be bothered.
25. The Goonies
26. Baseketball Caught the tail end. Couldn't tell you what the fuck was going on.
27. The Spice Girls Movie Insert 'You know there's nothing on TV at Christmas when...' joke. It was fucking risible.
28. Army of Darkness
29. The Color Purple
30. The Saftey of Objects
31. Can't Hardly Wait
32. Mystic Pizza
33. Finding Nemo
34. Monsters Inc.
35. Circle of Friends 'Ah Jaysus, let's all be pretending how we're Oirish, sure'
36. Mary Poppins
37. The Bourne Identity
38. Forrest Gump
39. A Clockwork Orange Because I can't honestly remember whether I've seen it all or not.
40. Kindergarten Cop Insert another 'You know there's nothing on Christmas telly when...' punchline.
41. On The Line
42. My Big Fat Greek Wedding
43. Final Destination
44. Sorority Boys Insert 'You've got two hours before the next bus to UCI from the Spectrum and nothing else is on...' joke here. I nearly pulled my fingernails out.
45. Urban Legend
46. Cheaper by the Dozen (original version) BUT! I did see the new version the other day. Wasn't as sucky as I expected.
47. Fierce Creatures
48. Dude, Where's My Car I'm fairly sure that even if I had seen this all the way through, it would make as much sense.
49. Ladyhawke
50. Ghostbusters
51. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade Watched it yet again just yesterday. Love it, man.
52. Back to the Future
53. An Affair To Remember
54. Somewhere In Time
55. North By Northwest Never been a Hitch sorta girl.
56. Moulin Rouge I assume you mean the new 'not as good as people think' version and not the Gabor/Ferrer version, which I've not seen all the way through.
57. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
58. The Wizard of Oz Special edition box set, spank you very much!
59. Zoolander I love Bowie's cameo.
60. A Walk to Remember *shudders at recollection* Insert 'REALLY nothing on at Christmas...' joke.
61. Chicago *snerk* Is this the sub-par shite that passes as a MUSICAL these days?
62. Vanilla Sky *snore*
63. The Sweetest Thing
64. Don't Tell Mom the Babysitters Dead
65. The Nightmare Before Christmas
66. Chasing Amy
67. Edward Scissorhands
68. Adventures of Priscilla: Queen of the Desert I've seen all kinds of fragments, not least the bit where Terence Stamp drinks some bloke under the table.
69. Muriel's Wedding
70. Croupier Was on telly the other day and missed it.
71. Blade Runner
72. Cruel Intentions
73. Ocean's Eleven Whether you mean the Excellent Original or the Only OK remake, the answer is the same. I only own the original, however.
74. Magnolia
75. Fight Club I can't remember why I didn't get to the end, although I was watching at home on tv, so it's possible my gitface brother interrupted.
76. Beauty and The Beast
77. Much Ado About Nothing
78. Dirty Dancing Owning it was the only way I managed to see the whole thing. It sucks, btw.
79. Gladiator This sucks too.
80. Ever After
81. Braveheart
82. What Lies Beneath
83. Regarding Henry
84. The Dark Crystal
85. Star Wars I have underlined this because although there are copies of said movies in existence in my house, they don't belong to me. Good thing too.
86. The Birds Like I said, not a huge Hitch fan.
87. Beaches I caught the tail end, then promptly caught diabetes.
88. Cujo
89. Maid In Manhattan For my sins, my sisters, for my sins.
90. Labyrinth
91. Thoroughly Modern Millie
92. His Girl Friday Wish this made it onto TCM or something more often.
93. Chocolat
94. Independence Day I think I'm the only non-American who likes this movie. I'm one for End of World Is Nigh, Movie Stars Come Save Us! mindless entertainment.
95. Singin' in the Rain The Best Musical Ever Made. And you'll notice I amended the title on the meme. n', not ng, people.
96. Big Fish (hoping to rent tomorrow)
97. The Thomas Crown Affair Have seen bits of both versions.
98. The Matrix Don't remember much of it.
99. Stargate
100. A Hard Day's Night My dears, I could recite the whole fucking movie to you. Help! too.
101. About A Boy *snores*
102. Jurassic Park Saw it in the cinema. Hated it. Was more scared by evil venom spitting git than T-Rex or velociraptors.
103. Life of Brian
104. Dune
105. Event Horizon
106. Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels The first time was lying in the aisle of a coach rumbling through Germany at 2am.
107. Dead Fire
108. The Never Ending Story it's possible I saw all this as a kid, but I don't remember. Don't much care, to tell you the truth.
109. Resident Evil
110. Lara Croft: Tomb Raider I am unashamed in liking this movie. Mindless, funny action movies are an overly maligned art form. Taped off the telly.
111. Pure Country
112. The Evil Dead
113. The Stand
114. Clue
115. My Best Friend's Wedding It's on a double feature video with Steel Magnolias. Do you get more Chick Flicky than that. Has hardly been watched.
116. A Perfect World
117. The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938)
118. Casablanca I can't believe this isn't on the list yet. Fools.
Some Like It Hot Or this.
119. Gone With The Wind Yes, I know it only said three, but that's not enough. YOU MUST LEARN, MY CHILDREN!