Summertime Part III!
Saturday, 18 October 2003 00:45![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
apollaThe latest part of Summertime is here for your reading pleasure.....
Summertime, Part I
Summertime, Part II
***
"You'll have a good time at school?" Maria asked, helping Hermione with her trunk.
"Yeah," Harry said with a sigh. "We get to go back early for extra Snape."
"Come on Harry!" Hermione said, rushing along the platform. "They've laid the train on especially for the returning Seventh years, we don't want to be late!"
Despite her rushing, Hermione suddenly stopped and looked at her cousin. Maria grinned at her.
"So summer didn't totally suck then?" she asked. Hermione shook her head and hugged her cousin.
"I'll send you letters, lots of them if you like," she offered.
"Really? Will one of them bird things bring them? Cos that would be cool."
"I'll get Hedwig to deliver them," Harry offered. Maria shrieked and threw her arms around Harry in a most over-dramatic manner. Hermione rolled her eyes.
"Ever the bloody drama queen," she said. "We're going to miss the train, Harry. Maria, let go of him. It's only an owl."
"What are you going to do?" Harry asked Maria as she disentangled herself from him.
"Oh, I'm off to Madame Tussaud's to visit me mates. See you soon." She flashed them a toothy grin and watched with a curious expression as they disappeared past the magical barrier that kept her out of their world. She stuffed her earphones in her ears and bounced off in the direction of the Tube.
***
Maria's vision swam for a moment before a dark, dingy room came into focus. The last thing she remembered was reaching to take her tube ticket from the machine and feeling a bizarre tugging behind her bellybutton. She tried to survey her surroundings but it was too dark and her head ached too much. She attempted to move but found her ankles tied to the legs of the chair she was sat on and her hands bound together behind the back of the chair. Her hands were sticky with something she recognised to be blood- it felt just like the time she dropped an entire case of Coke bottles and cut her hands to pieces in the process.
"You're Granger?" a voice cooed to her in the darkness. It sounded almost kind but she wasn't buying it.
"Last time I checked. Mind you, last time I checked I was on my way to a fun-filled day of waxworks of minor celebrities." Maria shook her head at herself- she was quite clearly in some danger and she was being a smart-alec? Hermione was right: she really was insane.
"Yes, I'm awfully sorry about that. Couldn't be helped. You see, the dark lord Voldemort had other plans for you."
"Who?" she asked. The voice laughed.
"Don't try to be funny."
"I'm not being funny," she said. "I haven't got the slightest idea who or what you're talking about. And now I think of it- how the Hell did I get here?"
"You're not Hermione Granger?" Maria heard the voice trembling slightly. She realised that this voice in the darkness had made a mistake and taken the wrong cousin. He thought he'd taken Hermione- he thought he'd taken a witch. This wasn't likely to end well.
"Yes," she lied easily. "I'm Hermione Granger."
Hermione owed her big-time.
"Good, if I thought I'd got it wrong, one of us would be dead by midnight."
"Well don't you worry, I'm Hermione Granger. I read lots of books and have a poor sense of humour."
"Funny."
"Not really. So, why did you decide to kidnap me?"
"I told you, for Lord Voldemort. There are plans afoot."
"Oh. Gotcha," she replied hurriedly, still not knowing who he was talking about but feeling quite strongly that she should play along.
"So, why does he want me?"
"Because you're Harry Potter's girlfriend, of course. He put you to great use."
"Oh, of course." Maria's mind was going at a thousand miles an hour. Why did this Lord Voldesnort want Harry or Hermione and since when was her cousin actually going out with her oblivious best friend? She would have to be careful what she said around here to hide her true, non-witchy self. Hermione really owed her now.
***
Time passed, although she couldn't tell how much of it passed. She guessed roughly two hours but it could've just as easily been fifteen minutes. She had 'Walk Like An Egyptian' by the Bangles stuck in her head and it was driving her batty. She took her dad's age-old advice and hummed 'Kashmir' by Led Zeppelin to herself to solve this worrying problem. She ended up building the entire song up in her head until she had it all going on.
"Would you please shut up?" the voice shouted. She smirked inwardly and carried on.
"Shut up!" he yelled. She continued. "Shut up! Shut up Shut up!"
The body attached to the voice finally emerged into the dim light. He was tall, had long, straggly dark hair and might've even once been handsome but for his thin, wasted appearance.
"You look just like Jimmy Page," she said. He glared at her.
"I don't care if I look like Salazar Slytherin, I want you to shut the hell up!"
"I just found it ironic that someone who looks like Pagey should object so vehemently to 'Kashmir'."
"You are an irritating child," he said with a snarl.
"And if I have a quid for every time someone said that, I'd be as rich as Jimmy Page."
"Stop going on about this Jimmy Page!"
"You'd rather hear me go on about Robert Plant?" she asked pleasantly.
"BE QUIET!"
"Why didn't you just ask?" she asked ingenuously. She stifled a laugh as he made a strangulated noise and stormed away.
"Is she here?" A new, nasty-sounding voice had quite suddenly entered the conversation.
"Yes, and she's driving me insane with her humming."
A short, pudgy man with thinning Bobby Charlton hair came up to her. In the light she saw that one of his hands was made of silver.
"That's not her!" he suddenly exploded, turning on 'Jimmy Page' angrily.
Ah. This might possibly be bad, she thought, shifting in her seat uneasily.
"She said she was Hermione Granger!" said the Jimmy Page-alike.
"Well, she lied!" said the short man. Maria looked at the dark man and just nodded unapologetically.
"Wormtail, what am I meant to do? You point this girl out to me, she acts like she's Potter's girlfriend and she says she's Hermione Granger? Am I meant to be a bloody psychic?"
"Yes," Wormtail said sulkily before turning to Maria. "Who are you?"
"I am Granger," she replied. "Maria Granger. Close but no cigar."
Wormtail struck her across the face. As she recoiled in pain, she decided to look on the bright side- he'd used his real hand and not the silver one.
"I told you to get Potter's girlfriend! That was the point of this exercise, fool!" he said to the Page-alike.
"What?" Maria asked. "Harry's girlfriend? You thought- no, she's not his girlfriend. I am."
She hoped that this new lie would work, because she had the very firm feeling deep in her gut that she really didn't want this man to get his hands on Hermione or Harry.
"Oh, and while I'm here," she said. "Who's Lord Voldesnort? It's been winding me up since I got here."
Wormtail now laughed genuinely.
"You brought me a Muggle?" he asked the dark haired man.
"She says she's Potter's girlfriend," he replied snottily.
"She also said she was Hermione Granger. Why should we believe anything she says?"
"Because I'm telling the truth," Maria lied. "Hermione is my cousin. I met Harry over the summer and we fell in love-" she assumed a dreamy tone. "He's just a darling, with those big green eyes and that little smile of his."
She stopped abruptly and looked at Wormtail. "What are you going to do to him?"
"Well first, Miss Granger-"
"Ms."
"Ms. Granger, you're going to write him a note."
"Saying what?"
"That you want to meet him in Hogsmeade tonight."
"He knows I'm in London."
"We will explain that in the note. You'll write it and we'll send it before nightfall."
"All right."
"It wasn't a request, girl. I don't know if you've noticed, but you're tied to a chair."
"I am? Well you learn something new every day."
***
"Hermione-" he stopped, looked in the mirror and sighed. "Hermione, I saw these and thought you- no, that's not it."
"Don't worry dearie," the mirror told him in a comforting voice. "You're doing very well."
"Don't start," he growled back, tossing the little black box from one hand to the other. He had suddenly realised that he had no reason, no occasion for giving Hermione a gift, let alone jewellery, and this had thrown him for a loop. "Hermione, I was at the craft fair and- What now?"
An owl tapped impatiently at the window, demanding entrance. Harry threw the box onto his bed and went to the window. The owl dropped a note in his hand and flew off without waiting for a reply. He looked at it with a rather puzzled expression. Whoever sent it had atrocious handwriting, he thought. Recalling Dumbledore's many warnings about owl post, he didn't open it. Instead he headed downstairs to the Common Room where he knew Hermione was buried in her books.
"Hermione, I just got the weirdest owl," he began.
"A weird owl?" she asked, looking up from her book. "Let me see. You didn't open it, did you?"
"No," he said, handing it to her. She examined it for a moment.
"This is Maria's handwriting," she said in a baffled voice.
"You're sure?"
"I'd recognise her four-year-old's scrawl anywhere."
"How did she get an owl?" he asked. Hermione sighed.
"It's definitely her- she always writes her 't's like the Beatles logo. See how the first T in Potter has a really long stem?"
"Right. OK. But how did she get a mail owl and why?"
"Perhaps she didn't. Open it."
He opened it carefully in case of any hexes and pulled the note out.
"Dearest Harry, I have run away from home. Meet me in Hogsmeade at 12:30 tonight. Love always, Maria," he read aloud, a totally mystified look on his face.
"What?" Hermione asked, snatching it from him. She looked at it for a moment. "Harry, I think we should get Dumbledore."
"Why?" he asked, not liking how pale Hermione had turned.
"We need Dumbledore. I think she's been kidnapped."
***
"What makes you think she's been kidnapped?" Dumbledore asked Hermione once they had got in to see him. She handed him the note.
"Everything, for a start," she replied.
"You're involved with Hermione's cousin?" Dumbledore asked. Harry shook his head.
"That's the first strange thing," he said.
"Second, why is a Muggle owling him? How is she doing it? She doesn't have an owl. Earlier she was going loopy at the idea of someone owling her," Hermione added.
"And then there's the curtness of the note," Harry continued.
"Maria can't write two words when twelve will do," Hermione cut in. "And then there's the back of the note."
Dumbledore turned it over and saw a line of writing.
"She always writes random song lyrics on her correspondence," Hermione explained. "Although if you know her well, you know they're never really random at all. I recognise the song, too."
"What is it?" Dumbledore asked, reading out the lines. "When I was younger, so much younger than today?"
"It's a song by the Beatles. It's called 'Help!'"
"We think she's been taken by someone working for Voldemort," said Harry. "They think she's my girlfriend- which she isn't, and they don't know enough about Muggle culture to recognise what is a pretty obvious clue."
"I will contact the order," said Dumbledore in a soft, solemn voice. "You will stay here with me in case we get any news or more letters."
"Professor-" began Hermione.
"You will stay here," said the headmaster firmly.
"No, it's not that. What about her parents? They'll be out of their minds with worry."
"Yes," he said solemnly. "The telephone would be best, but the closest is at the Three Broomsticks, and that is just where we do not want you going."
"But my aunt-"
"So," Dumbledore interrupted. "I will send Professor McGonagall with a message."
"Thank you," she said, feeling a little sheepish. Behind her, Harry had begun to pace angrily.
"It's all my fault," he muttered "All anyone needs to do now is be seen with me and they're in mortal danger."
"We'll get her back, Harry," she told him quietly.
"Oh, what like we got Sirius back? Or Cedric? At least we had a body for him, I suppose."
"Harry," Dumbledore started to speak, but Harry paid him no heed.
"All I did was spend a few days with this girl and she gets taken! What next? What do I have to do to make that noseless, slimy murderer leave me alone?"
"Harry," Hermione called softly. Unlike Dumbledore, she managed to calm him down somewhat. "We will find her and get her back safely. I know we will."
Harry collapsed into a chair as Dumbledore began the process of alerting the Order. Phineas Nigellus was most displeased to be woken up to visit his other portrait, but did not grumble- Harry knew he'd been much more helpful since Sirius died. Dumbledore was still contacting various people when Kingsley and Tonks appeared in his office via a copy of the Evening Standard. They were immediately sent to watch over the castle gates. Dung Fletcher was close behind, complaining that he'd had a deal on a shipment of three legged kneazles ruined by the summons. Soon enough, the whole Order was there and had jobs to do- all except Harry and Hermione. Time ticked away as time does, and as 12:30 approached, they both became increasingly edgy.
"Don't be in too much of a hurry to be bait," McGonagall advised Harry. "We don't know who is coming to meet you."
***
"I think we should take her with us," said Wormtail.
"She's our insurance, she stays here," said the Page-alike.
"Let me take you down, cos I'm going to... Strawberry Fields. Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about," Maria trilled softly. Somewhere around 9pm, she guessed, she'd started to get really bored and had started singing Beatles songs in chronological album order- only remembering to leave 'Help' out at the last minute. She was now up to Strawberry Fields, which she'd put in between Revolver and Sgt Pepper, deciding that the Penny Lane/Strawberry Fields Double-A side was deserving of inclusion even though the songs were included on Magical Mystery Tour. Next up was the song 'Sgt Pepper' and she'd been particularly looking forwards to it. If only those men would stop shouting...
"You! Granger girl, get up!" Wormtail ordered her. "Lots to do tonight."
"I know, I've got all of Sgt. Pepper, Magical Mystery Tour, the White Album, Yellow Sub- not sure how I'm going to manage the orchestral stuff, but I'm sure I'll get by-"
"Shut up!" shouted Wormtail, pulling the ropes away and yanking her off the chair.
"Not to mention Let it Be and Abbey Road," she concluded.
"We're going to visit your boyfriend now," he told her.
"Good oh, should I take a gift?"
"Please Wormtail, let me shut her up," the Page-alike pleaded.
"How Potter puts up with you, I'm sure I don't know," said Wormtail.
"I'm very bendy," she retorted. Wormtail glared at her.
"I'll bend you if you don't shut up," he warned her.
"I doubt that," she said defiantly.
"Oh, you do, do you?" he asked. This time when he hit her, it was with his silver hand.
***
Harry stood at the giant doors of Hogwarts Castle peering into the inky blackness of the night. The balmy August that Surrey was experiencing hadn't quite made it up to Hogwarts and he shivered slightly.
"This idea of yours really needs to work, Hermione," he whispered.
"It will. People love a soap opera. And the Order are out there hiding in the trees just in case."
"What if they don't even bring Maria?" he asked.
"Then we move to Plan B."
"Which is?"
"Beat them up until they tell us where she is."
"Right. Good."
"It's half past. Remember, be really happy to see her. I'll be right behind you."
"You'll be careful?" he asked her anxiously. She nodded.
"I will. You too- no heroic stunts, please."
"I'll see what I can do," he said, flashing her an over-bright smile. He then went outside and bounded down towards the gates. She counted to ten and then followed.
***
"Sit on the wall and don't make a sound," Wormtail instructed Maria, pushing her onto a low wall close to the Hogwarts gates.
"Me? Make a sound? Never! My lips are sealed."
"Be sure they are. Don't you dare move- we're right behind you," he told her before concealing himself behind the wall with the Page-alike.
"My lips are sealed," Maria said. "Forthwith, my lips are sealed. My lips are sealed with forth. Not a word shall pass my lips.* I am silent. I am Clara Bow. I am mute. Mute I am, Sam I am. I do not like Green Eggs and Ham-"
"Shut up!" Page-alike hissed.
"Sorry, I'll be quiet now," she said before humming the Beatles song she was up to: 'She's Leaving Home'. She was becoming increasingly nervous about this- what if Harry and Hermione hadn't understood her clues- she was relying on Harry taking the note to her cousin for decryption. Hermione would understand it all, she had faith in that, but what if Harry hadn't taken the note to her? What if he was coming down here all alone to demand to know what her note was about? She heard footsteps coming towards her from the direction of the school. Soon enough she saw the gate swing open slightly.
"Psst, Maria! Over here," Harry whispered. She hesitated- she'd been told to stay where she was and had no desire to be clobbered with a silver hand again. "Come here!"
"Go on, girl," hissed Wormtail. She bounced over to Harry as if she were truly glad to see him- which was not much of a stretch.
"Harry!"
"Maria, sweetie!" he called loudly, enveloping her in a hug. "Go along with it," he whispered, "Where are they?"
"Behind that wall I was sitting on. Two of 'em."
"I've missed you so much!" he said loudly. He paused, not quite sure what to do now. He should probably pretend to kiss her but he really wasn't- Maria grabbed his face and planted an over-exaggerated kiss on his lips. Behind him they heard Tonks giggle softly.
"Harry!" Hermione shrieked, barrelling towards them. "How could you! With my own cousin, you utter rat!"
"Hermione?" he said, trying to sound guilty. "It's not what you think! Maria did it- she told me you didn't care-"
"Oh she did? Well, we'll soon sort her out!" Hermione grabbed Maria by her hair and yanked her to the ground. Maria, for her part, fought back.
"Not so bloody hard," she hissed at Hermione. "It's pretend, right?"
"Yes, but we need to look realistic," Hermione whispered back before pulling her hair again.
"Trust me to get a Method Actor cousin," Maria growled, rolling on the ground.
"Stop it, both of you!" Harry shouted. He then whispered "and for God's sake get behind the gates!"
Hermione made a mad dash away from Maria towards the school. Maria followed as if to tackle her, but in reality to get to safety. At this moment, Wormtail and his accomplice panicked and revealed themselves as they did so. Just as suddenly, Kingsley and the rest of the Order emerged from under cloaks and trees and went for the pair.
Harry and Hermione began running up towards the school with Maria in hot pursuit. Harry looked back just long enough to see several red jets of light shoot towards Wormtail and the man Maria mentally called Jimmy Page.
"Harry! Quick-" Harry turned to see what had Hermione so concerned: Maria was crumpled up unmoving in the damp grass.
***
To be continued... Comments and suchlike to the usual address.
* Author's Note: Maria's little speech "My lips are sealed. Forthwith my lips are sealed..." is a nod to the fantastic sitcom Porridge. It's not an exact copy of Fletcher's joke, but close enough for me to point this out to you. Tis not my joke- me just borrowing it.
Summertime, Part I
Summertime, Part II
***
"You'll have a good time at school?" Maria asked, helping Hermione with her trunk.
"Yeah," Harry said with a sigh. "We get to go back early for extra Snape."
"Come on Harry!" Hermione said, rushing along the platform. "They've laid the train on especially for the returning Seventh years, we don't want to be late!"
Despite her rushing, Hermione suddenly stopped and looked at her cousin. Maria grinned at her.
"So summer didn't totally suck then?" she asked. Hermione shook her head and hugged her cousin.
"I'll send you letters, lots of them if you like," she offered.
"Really? Will one of them bird things bring them? Cos that would be cool."
"I'll get Hedwig to deliver them," Harry offered. Maria shrieked and threw her arms around Harry in a most over-dramatic manner. Hermione rolled her eyes.
"Ever the bloody drama queen," she said. "We're going to miss the train, Harry. Maria, let go of him. It's only an owl."
"What are you going to do?" Harry asked Maria as she disentangled herself from him.
"Oh, I'm off to Madame Tussaud's to visit me mates. See you soon." She flashed them a toothy grin and watched with a curious expression as they disappeared past the magical barrier that kept her out of their world. She stuffed her earphones in her ears and bounced off in the direction of the Tube.
***
Maria's vision swam for a moment before a dark, dingy room came into focus. The last thing she remembered was reaching to take her tube ticket from the machine and feeling a bizarre tugging behind her bellybutton. She tried to survey her surroundings but it was too dark and her head ached too much. She attempted to move but found her ankles tied to the legs of the chair she was sat on and her hands bound together behind the back of the chair. Her hands were sticky with something she recognised to be blood- it felt just like the time she dropped an entire case of Coke bottles and cut her hands to pieces in the process.
"You're Granger?" a voice cooed to her in the darkness. It sounded almost kind but she wasn't buying it.
"Last time I checked. Mind you, last time I checked I was on my way to a fun-filled day of waxworks of minor celebrities." Maria shook her head at herself- she was quite clearly in some danger and she was being a smart-alec? Hermione was right: she really was insane.
"Yes, I'm awfully sorry about that. Couldn't be helped. You see, the dark lord Voldemort had other plans for you."
"Who?" she asked. The voice laughed.
"Don't try to be funny."
"I'm not being funny," she said. "I haven't got the slightest idea who or what you're talking about. And now I think of it- how the Hell did I get here?"
"You're not Hermione Granger?" Maria heard the voice trembling slightly. She realised that this voice in the darkness had made a mistake and taken the wrong cousin. He thought he'd taken Hermione- he thought he'd taken a witch. This wasn't likely to end well.
"Yes," she lied easily. "I'm Hermione Granger."
Hermione owed her big-time.
"Good, if I thought I'd got it wrong, one of us would be dead by midnight."
"Well don't you worry, I'm Hermione Granger. I read lots of books and have a poor sense of humour."
"Funny."
"Not really. So, why did you decide to kidnap me?"
"I told you, for Lord Voldemort. There are plans afoot."
"Oh. Gotcha," she replied hurriedly, still not knowing who he was talking about but feeling quite strongly that she should play along.
"So, why does he want me?"
"Because you're Harry Potter's girlfriend, of course. He put you to great use."
"Oh, of course." Maria's mind was going at a thousand miles an hour. Why did this Lord Voldesnort want Harry or Hermione and since when was her cousin actually going out with her oblivious best friend? She would have to be careful what she said around here to hide her true, non-witchy self. Hermione really owed her now.
***
Time passed, although she couldn't tell how much of it passed. She guessed roughly two hours but it could've just as easily been fifteen minutes. She had 'Walk Like An Egyptian' by the Bangles stuck in her head and it was driving her batty. She took her dad's age-old advice and hummed 'Kashmir' by Led Zeppelin to herself to solve this worrying problem. She ended up building the entire song up in her head until she had it all going on.
"Would you please shut up?" the voice shouted. She smirked inwardly and carried on.
"Shut up!" he yelled. She continued. "Shut up! Shut up Shut up!"
The body attached to the voice finally emerged into the dim light. He was tall, had long, straggly dark hair and might've even once been handsome but for his thin, wasted appearance.
"You look just like Jimmy Page," she said. He glared at her.
"I don't care if I look like Salazar Slytherin, I want you to shut the hell up!"
"I just found it ironic that someone who looks like Pagey should object so vehemently to 'Kashmir'."
"You are an irritating child," he said with a snarl.
"And if I have a quid for every time someone said that, I'd be as rich as Jimmy Page."
"Stop going on about this Jimmy Page!"
"You'd rather hear me go on about Robert Plant?" she asked pleasantly.
"BE QUIET!"
"Why didn't you just ask?" she asked ingenuously. She stifled a laugh as he made a strangulated noise and stormed away.
"Is she here?" A new, nasty-sounding voice had quite suddenly entered the conversation.
"Yes, and she's driving me insane with her humming."
A short, pudgy man with thinning Bobby Charlton hair came up to her. In the light she saw that one of his hands was made of silver.
"That's not her!" he suddenly exploded, turning on 'Jimmy Page' angrily.
Ah. This might possibly be bad, she thought, shifting in her seat uneasily.
"She said she was Hermione Granger!" said the Jimmy Page-alike.
"Well, she lied!" said the short man. Maria looked at the dark man and just nodded unapologetically.
"Wormtail, what am I meant to do? You point this girl out to me, she acts like she's Potter's girlfriend and she says she's Hermione Granger? Am I meant to be a bloody psychic?"
"Yes," Wormtail said sulkily before turning to Maria. "Who are you?"
"I am Granger," she replied. "Maria Granger. Close but no cigar."
Wormtail struck her across the face. As she recoiled in pain, she decided to look on the bright side- he'd used his real hand and not the silver one.
"I told you to get Potter's girlfriend! That was the point of this exercise, fool!" he said to the Page-alike.
"What?" Maria asked. "Harry's girlfriend? You thought- no, she's not his girlfriend. I am."
She hoped that this new lie would work, because she had the very firm feeling deep in her gut that she really didn't want this man to get his hands on Hermione or Harry.
"Oh, and while I'm here," she said. "Who's Lord Voldesnort? It's been winding me up since I got here."
Wormtail now laughed genuinely.
"You brought me a Muggle?" he asked the dark haired man.
"She says she's Potter's girlfriend," he replied snottily.
"She also said she was Hermione Granger. Why should we believe anything she says?"
"Because I'm telling the truth," Maria lied. "Hermione is my cousin. I met Harry over the summer and we fell in love-" she assumed a dreamy tone. "He's just a darling, with those big green eyes and that little smile of his."
She stopped abruptly and looked at Wormtail. "What are you going to do to him?"
"Well first, Miss Granger-"
"Ms."
"Ms. Granger, you're going to write him a note."
"Saying what?"
"That you want to meet him in Hogsmeade tonight."
"He knows I'm in London."
"We will explain that in the note. You'll write it and we'll send it before nightfall."
"All right."
"It wasn't a request, girl. I don't know if you've noticed, but you're tied to a chair."
"I am? Well you learn something new every day."
***
"Hermione-" he stopped, looked in the mirror and sighed. "Hermione, I saw these and thought you- no, that's not it."
"Don't worry dearie," the mirror told him in a comforting voice. "You're doing very well."
"Don't start," he growled back, tossing the little black box from one hand to the other. He had suddenly realised that he had no reason, no occasion for giving Hermione a gift, let alone jewellery, and this had thrown him for a loop. "Hermione, I was at the craft fair and- What now?"
An owl tapped impatiently at the window, demanding entrance. Harry threw the box onto his bed and went to the window. The owl dropped a note in his hand and flew off without waiting for a reply. He looked at it with a rather puzzled expression. Whoever sent it had atrocious handwriting, he thought. Recalling Dumbledore's many warnings about owl post, he didn't open it. Instead he headed downstairs to the Common Room where he knew Hermione was buried in her books.
"Hermione, I just got the weirdest owl," he began.
"A weird owl?" she asked, looking up from her book. "Let me see. You didn't open it, did you?"
"No," he said, handing it to her. She examined it for a moment.
"This is Maria's handwriting," she said in a baffled voice.
"You're sure?"
"I'd recognise her four-year-old's scrawl anywhere."
"How did she get an owl?" he asked. Hermione sighed.
"It's definitely her- she always writes her 't's like the Beatles logo. See how the first T in Potter has a really long stem?"
"Right. OK. But how did she get a mail owl and why?"
"Perhaps she didn't. Open it."
He opened it carefully in case of any hexes and pulled the note out.
"Dearest Harry, I have run away from home. Meet me in Hogsmeade at 12:30 tonight. Love always, Maria," he read aloud, a totally mystified look on his face.
"What?" Hermione asked, snatching it from him. She looked at it for a moment. "Harry, I think we should get Dumbledore."
"Why?" he asked, not liking how pale Hermione had turned.
"We need Dumbledore. I think she's been kidnapped."
***
"What makes you think she's been kidnapped?" Dumbledore asked Hermione once they had got in to see him. She handed him the note.
"Everything, for a start," she replied.
"You're involved with Hermione's cousin?" Dumbledore asked. Harry shook his head.
"That's the first strange thing," he said.
"Second, why is a Muggle owling him? How is she doing it? She doesn't have an owl. Earlier she was going loopy at the idea of someone owling her," Hermione added.
"And then there's the curtness of the note," Harry continued.
"Maria can't write two words when twelve will do," Hermione cut in. "And then there's the back of the note."
Dumbledore turned it over and saw a line of writing.
"She always writes random song lyrics on her correspondence," Hermione explained. "Although if you know her well, you know they're never really random at all. I recognise the song, too."
"What is it?" Dumbledore asked, reading out the lines. "When I was younger, so much younger than today?"
"It's a song by the Beatles. It's called 'Help!'"
"We think she's been taken by someone working for Voldemort," said Harry. "They think she's my girlfriend- which she isn't, and they don't know enough about Muggle culture to recognise what is a pretty obvious clue."
"I will contact the order," said Dumbledore in a soft, solemn voice. "You will stay here with me in case we get any news or more letters."
"Professor-" began Hermione.
"You will stay here," said the headmaster firmly.
"No, it's not that. What about her parents? They'll be out of their minds with worry."
"Yes," he said solemnly. "The telephone would be best, but the closest is at the Three Broomsticks, and that is just where we do not want you going."
"But my aunt-"
"So," Dumbledore interrupted. "I will send Professor McGonagall with a message."
"Thank you," she said, feeling a little sheepish. Behind her, Harry had begun to pace angrily.
"It's all my fault," he muttered "All anyone needs to do now is be seen with me and they're in mortal danger."
"We'll get her back, Harry," she told him quietly.
"Oh, what like we got Sirius back? Or Cedric? At least we had a body for him, I suppose."
"Harry," Dumbledore started to speak, but Harry paid him no heed.
"All I did was spend a few days with this girl and she gets taken! What next? What do I have to do to make that noseless, slimy murderer leave me alone?"
"Harry," Hermione called softly. Unlike Dumbledore, she managed to calm him down somewhat. "We will find her and get her back safely. I know we will."
Harry collapsed into a chair as Dumbledore began the process of alerting the Order. Phineas Nigellus was most displeased to be woken up to visit his other portrait, but did not grumble- Harry knew he'd been much more helpful since Sirius died. Dumbledore was still contacting various people when Kingsley and Tonks appeared in his office via a copy of the Evening Standard. They were immediately sent to watch over the castle gates. Dung Fletcher was close behind, complaining that he'd had a deal on a shipment of three legged kneazles ruined by the summons. Soon enough, the whole Order was there and had jobs to do- all except Harry and Hermione. Time ticked away as time does, and as 12:30 approached, they both became increasingly edgy.
"Don't be in too much of a hurry to be bait," McGonagall advised Harry. "We don't know who is coming to meet you."
***
"I think we should take her with us," said Wormtail.
"She's our insurance, she stays here," said the Page-alike.
"Let me take you down, cos I'm going to... Strawberry Fields. Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about," Maria trilled softly. Somewhere around 9pm, she guessed, she'd started to get really bored and had started singing Beatles songs in chronological album order- only remembering to leave 'Help' out at the last minute. She was now up to Strawberry Fields, which she'd put in between Revolver and Sgt Pepper, deciding that the Penny Lane/Strawberry Fields Double-A side was deserving of inclusion even though the songs were included on Magical Mystery Tour. Next up was the song 'Sgt Pepper' and she'd been particularly looking forwards to it. If only those men would stop shouting...
"You! Granger girl, get up!" Wormtail ordered her. "Lots to do tonight."
"I know, I've got all of Sgt. Pepper, Magical Mystery Tour, the White Album, Yellow Sub- not sure how I'm going to manage the orchestral stuff, but I'm sure I'll get by-"
"Shut up!" shouted Wormtail, pulling the ropes away and yanking her off the chair.
"Not to mention Let it Be and Abbey Road," she concluded.
"We're going to visit your boyfriend now," he told her.
"Good oh, should I take a gift?"
"Please Wormtail, let me shut her up," the Page-alike pleaded.
"How Potter puts up with you, I'm sure I don't know," said Wormtail.
"I'm very bendy," she retorted. Wormtail glared at her.
"I'll bend you if you don't shut up," he warned her.
"I doubt that," she said defiantly.
"Oh, you do, do you?" he asked. This time when he hit her, it was with his silver hand.
***
Harry stood at the giant doors of Hogwarts Castle peering into the inky blackness of the night. The balmy August that Surrey was experiencing hadn't quite made it up to Hogwarts and he shivered slightly.
"This idea of yours really needs to work, Hermione," he whispered.
"It will. People love a soap opera. And the Order are out there hiding in the trees just in case."
"What if they don't even bring Maria?" he asked.
"Then we move to Plan B."
"Which is?"
"Beat them up until they tell us where she is."
"Right. Good."
"It's half past. Remember, be really happy to see her. I'll be right behind you."
"You'll be careful?" he asked her anxiously. She nodded.
"I will. You too- no heroic stunts, please."
"I'll see what I can do," he said, flashing her an over-bright smile. He then went outside and bounded down towards the gates. She counted to ten and then followed.
***
"Sit on the wall and don't make a sound," Wormtail instructed Maria, pushing her onto a low wall close to the Hogwarts gates.
"Me? Make a sound? Never! My lips are sealed."
"Be sure they are. Don't you dare move- we're right behind you," he told her before concealing himself behind the wall with the Page-alike.
"My lips are sealed," Maria said. "Forthwith, my lips are sealed. My lips are sealed with forth. Not a word shall pass my lips.* I am silent. I am Clara Bow. I am mute. Mute I am, Sam I am. I do not like Green Eggs and Ham-"
"Shut up!" Page-alike hissed.
"Sorry, I'll be quiet now," she said before humming the Beatles song she was up to: 'She's Leaving Home'. She was becoming increasingly nervous about this- what if Harry and Hermione hadn't understood her clues- she was relying on Harry taking the note to her cousin for decryption. Hermione would understand it all, she had faith in that, but what if Harry hadn't taken the note to her? What if he was coming down here all alone to demand to know what her note was about? She heard footsteps coming towards her from the direction of the school. Soon enough she saw the gate swing open slightly.
"Psst, Maria! Over here," Harry whispered. She hesitated- she'd been told to stay where she was and had no desire to be clobbered with a silver hand again. "Come here!"
"Go on, girl," hissed Wormtail. She bounced over to Harry as if she were truly glad to see him- which was not much of a stretch.
"Harry!"
"Maria, sweetie!" he called loudly, enveloping her in a hug. "Go along with it," he whispered, "Where are they?"
"Behind that wall I was sitting on. Two of 'em."
"I've missed you so much!" he said loudly. He paused, not quite sure what to do now. He should probably pretend to kiss her but he really wasn't- Maria grabbed his face and planted an over-exaggerated kiss on his lips. Behind him they heard Tonks giggle softly.
"Harry!" Hermione shrieked, barrelling towards them. "How could you! With my own cousin, you utter rat!"
"Hermione?" he said, trying to sound guilty. "It's not what you think! Maria did it- she told me you didn't care-"
"Oh she did? Well, we'll soon sort her out!" Hermione grabbed Maria by her hair and yanked her to the ground. Maria, for her part, fought back.
"Not so bloody hard," she hissed at Hermione. "It's pretend, right?"
"Yes, but we need to look realistic," Hermione whispered back before pulling her hair again.
"Trust me to get a Method Actor cousin," Maria growled, rolling on the ground.
"Stop it, both of you!" Harry shouted. He then whispered "and for God's sake get behind the gates!"
Hermione made a mad dash away from Maria towards the school. Maria followed as if to tackle her, but in reality to get to safety. At this moment, Wormtail and his accomplice panicked and revealed themselves as they did so. Just as suddenly, Kingsley and the rest of the Order emerged from under cloaks and trees and went for the pair.
Harry and Hermione began running up towards the school with Maria in hot pursuit. Harry looked back just long enough to see several red jets of light shoot towards Wormtail and the man Maria mentally called Jimmy Page.
"Harry! Quick-" Harry turned to see what had Hermione so concerned: Maria was crumpled up unmoving in the damp grass.
***
To be continued... Comments and suchlike to the usual address.
* Author's Note: Maria's little speech "My lips are sealed. Forthwith my lips are sealed..." is a nod to the fantastic sitcom Porridge. It's not an exact copy of Fletcher's joke, but close enough for me to point this out to you. Tis not my joke- me just borrowing it.
