The Church of Rock and Roll
Monday, 29 September 2003 23:29![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
apollaMy cold is still really pissing me off. I cannot breathe. Although I did finally get round to seeing The Man Who Would Be King in it's entirety at four o'clock this morning, so it's all of the good.
I've got a question, and please do excuse my indelicacy, but: Is everyone dying? Every day this morning I've woken up to find out someone else is dead. First it was Robert Palmer, who I respected but was not a fan of, then the fantastic Donald O'Connor and then today I find out Elia Kazan is dead! Who next? At least now we might be allowed to forget the politics of fifty years ago and move on.
Oh, and on reading this month's 'Detroit Special' MOJO magazine (Jack White interviews Iggy Pop, who's had his hair cut) I found out that one of the best music writers ever killed himself by way of overdose recently. If you wondering, it's Ian MacDonald, the guy who wrote Revolution in the Head.
The new Return of the King trailer has got me so intrigued. I'm more excited about this that that silly Star Wars thing- everyone in LOTR has long hair *cackles*
Made three new icons, too. Click here to see. I'd like to thank![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
logansrogue for pointing me in the direction of the Flynn picture- I'm sure you'd make a better icon out of it though!
I have also, on a total different note, started my own church. It is called the Church of Rock and Roll, and you're all welcome to join. The following introductory information has been compiled with the assistance ofmarquiserachel
The Church of Rock n Roll
The Ten(ish) Commandments
1. You shalt worship no other god but me, the God of Rock n Roll. You shalt, however, all argue incessantly about exactly who the God of Rock n Roll is.
2. You shalt not willingly buy Phil Collins records.
3. You will revere Led Zeppelin as Golden Gods.
4. You shalt take Jim Morrison as the One True Lizard King.
5. You shalt understand that nobody is better than the Beatles.
6. Not even Led Zeppelin.
7. You shalt covet the rare Beatles memorabilia that comes up on telly every so often, even if it's just a paper napkin that John Lennon once touched briefly.
8. You shalt never give a firm answer when asked who your favourite Beatle is.
9. You will never accept that someone else's opinion is as worthy as yours, nor that it might possibly boil down to personal taste.
10. You shalt not listen to anything that is likely to be shown on 'The Box' or MTV Hits.
11. You shalt revere Robert Plant above all other blonds, except maybe Hayden Christensen.
(Note: The 11th Commandment is mostly down to personal taste)
The Holy Book
The Old Testament: MOJO.
The New Testament: Q.
The Seven Deadly Sins
1. Not despising Robbie Williams
2. Postulating that Dolly Parton's version of 'Stairway to Heaven has any redeeming qualities.
3. Anything to do with the phrase 'prog rock'.
4. Anything to do with Elvis movies. Except King Creole and Jailhouse Rock, but you'll still be on rocky ground.
5. Comparing John Lennon with Paul McCartney. Give up now.
6. Britney Spears.
7. Anything involving the word 'bluegrass'.
The Seven Rocking Virtues
(Note: These are for the practitioners rather than the listeners)
1. Wearing very tight trousers. Extra points if they're made of leather.
2. Having longer hair than one's girlfriend(s). Extra points if you spend longer styling than she/they do.
3. Driving one's Rolls into any Holiday Inn swimming pool.
4. Making daft pronouncements such as 'we're bigger than Jesus', 'I am a golden god' or 'these go up to eleven' without any trace of irony.
5. Being arrested for 'lewd and lascivious behaviour' in the state of Florida.
6. Drinking champagne/Jack Daniels/Stoli by the case rather than glass or bottle.
7. Oh, and remember to record an album occasionally.
Holy Days
(Note: This is not a complete list. If I have missed any out, tell me)
(Note: In popular parlance, 'feast' denotes a birthday, 'celebration' an anniversary, except in a couple of instances)
8th January- The Feast of Bowie.
9th January- The Feast of the Wizard
12th January- The Day of the Zeppelin.
25th February- The Feast of George.
29th April- The Celebration of Ronno.
6th May- The Celebration of Dietrich
12th May- The Celebration of Sinatra
19th May- The Feast of Townshend
24th May- The Feast of Dylan
1st June- The Day of Pepper
7th June- The Feast of Dino
18th June- The Feast of Paul.
3rd July- The Celebration of the Lizard
7thJuly- The Feast of Ringo
17th July- Lady Day
16th August- The Celebration of the Pelvis (take that as you will)
20th August- The Feast of Percy and Philip
31st August- The Feast of Van The Man.
18th September- The Celebration of Hendrix
25th September- The Celebration of Bonzo
9th October- The Feast of John
11th October- The Celebration of The Sparrow
24th November- The Celebration of Mercury
27th November- The Feast of Jimi
29th November- The Celebration of the Dark Horse.
8th December- The Feast of James & John
Various Verses & Psalms of Note
(Note: This is not a comprehensive list. One should also note that 'The Complete Beatles Lyrics' is a core component of the Verses of The Church of Rock And Roll)
We three kings of Liverpool are,
John in a taxi, Paul in car,
George on a scooter blowing his hooter,
Following Ringo Starr.
Anon.
And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our souls
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How everything still turns to gold
And if you listen very hard,
The tune will come to you at last
When all is one and one are all
To be a rock and not to roll.
Page/Plant
This is the end, beautiful friend
This is the end, my only friend
The end
It hurts to set you free
But you'll never follow me.
The end of laughter and soft lies
The end of nights we tried to die
This is the End.
The Doors
Well I'm an old bluesman
And I think that you understand
I've been singing the blues
Ever since the world began.
The Doors.
For the music is your special friend
Dance on fire as it intends
Music is your only friend
Until the end.
The Doors.
At last, at last
I'll live in peace at last
Forgiven for my past
Peace at last
Russell/Wakeman/Liszt
So I called up the captain
"Please bring me my wine"
He said
"We haven't had that spirit here since 1969"
Felder/Frey/Henley
Did you write the book of love
And do you have faith in God above,
If the bible tells you so,
And do you believe in rock n' roll?
Can music save your mortal soul?
And can you teach me how to dance real slow?
McLean
I met a girl who sang the blues
And I asked her for some happy news
But she just smiled and turned away
I went down to the sacred store
Where I'd heard the music years before
But the man there said the music wouldn't play
And in the streets the children screamed
The lovers cried, and the poets dreamed
But not a word was spoken
The church bells all were broken
And the three men I admire most
The Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost
They caught the last train for the coast
The day the music died.
McLean
They call me The Seeker
I've been searching low and high
I won't get to get what I'm after
Till the day I die
I asked Bobby Dylan
I asked The Beatles
I asked Timothy Leary
But he couldn't help me either.
Townshend
Disclaimer: You may not have noticed, but this is (more or less) a joke. No offence intended. Except to Phil Collins, obviously.
I've got a question, and please do excuse my indelicacy, but: Is everyone dying? Every day this morning I've woken up to find out someone else is dead. First it was Robert Palmer, who I respected but was not a fan of, then the fantastic Donald O'Connor and then today I find out Elia Kazan is dead! Who next? At least now we might be allowed to forget the politics of fifty years ago and move on.
Oh, and on reading this month's 'Detroit Special' MOJO magazine (Jack White interviews Iggy Pop, who's had his hair cut) I found out that one of the best music writers ever killed himself by way of overdose recently. If you wondering, it's Ian MacDonald, the guy who wrote Revolution in the Head.
The new Return of the King trailer has got me so intrigued. I'm more excited about this that that silly Star Wars thing- everyone in LOTR has long hair *cackles*
Made three new icons, too. Click here to see. I'd like to thank
logansrogue for pointing me in the direction of the Flynn picture- I'm sure you'd make a better icon out of it though!I have also, on a total different note, started my own church. It is called the Church of Rock and Roll, and you're all welcome to join. The following introductory information has been compiled with the assistance of
marquiserachelThe Church of Rock n Roll
The Ten(ish) Commandments
1. You shalt worship no other god but me, the God of Rock n Roll. You shalt, however, all argue incessantly about exactly who the God of Rock n Roll is.
2. You shalt not willingly buy Phil Collins records.
3. You will revere Led Zeppelin as Golden Gods.
4. You shalt take Jim Morrison as the One True Lizard King.
5. You shalt understand that nobody is better than the Beatles.
6. Not even Led Zeppelin.
7. You shalt covet the rare Beatles memorabilia that comes up on telly every so often, even if it's just a paper napkin that John Lennon once touched briefly.
8. You shalt never give a firm answer when asked who your favourite Beatle is.
9. You will never accept that someone else's opinion is as worthy as yours, nor that it might possibly boil down to personal taste.
10. You shalt not listen to anything that is likely to be shown on 'The Box' or MTV Hits.
11. You shalt revere Robert Plant above all other blonds, except maybe Hayden Christensen.
(Note: The 11th Commandment is mostly down to personal taste)
The Holy Book
The Old Testament: MOJO.
The New Testament: Q.
The Seven Deadly Sins
1. Not despising Robbie Williams
2. Postulating that Dolly Parton's version of 'Stairway to Heaven has any redeeming qualities.
3. Anything to do with the phrase 'prog rock'.
4. Anything to do with Elvis movies. Except King Creole and Jailhouse Rock, but you'll still be on rocky ground.
5. Comparing John Lennon with Paul McCartney. Give up now.
6. Britney Spears.
7. Anything involving the word 'bluegrass'.
The Seven Rocking Virtues
(Note: These are for the practitioners rather than the listeners)
1. Wearing very tight trousers. Extra points if they're made of leather.
2. Having longer hair than one's girlfriend(s). Extra points if you spend longer styling than she/they do.
3. Driving one's Rolls into any Holiday Inn swimming pool.
4. Making daft pronouncements such as 'we're bigger than Jesus', 'I am a golden god' or 'these go up to eleven' without any trace of irony.
5. Being arrested for 'lewd and lascivious behaviour' in the state of Florida.
6. Drinking champagne/Jack Daniels/Stoli by the case rather than glass or bottle.
7. Oh, and remember to record an album occasionally.
Holy Days
(Note: This is not a complete list. If I have missed any out, tell me)
(Note: In popular parlance, 'feast' denotes a birthday, 'celebration' an anniversary, except in a couple of instances)
8th January- The Feast of Bowie.
9th January- The Feast of the Wizard
12th January- The Day of the Zeppelin.
25th February- The Feast of George.
29th April- The Celebration of Ronno.
6th May- The Celebration of Dietrich
12th May- The Celebration of Sinatra
19th May- The Feast of Townshend
24th May- The Feast of Dylan
1st June- The Day of Pepper
7th June- The Feast of Dino
18th June- The Feast of Paul.
3rd July- The Celebration of the Lizard
7thJuly- The Feast of Ringo
17th July- Lady Day
16th August- The Celebration of the Pelvis (take that as you will)
20th August- The Feast of Percy and Philip
31st August- The Feast of Van The Man.
18th September- The Celebration of Hendrix
25th September- The Celebration of Bonzo
9th October- The Feast of John
11th October- The Celebration of The Sparrow
24th November- The Celebration of Mercury
27th November- The Feast of Jimi
29th November- The Celebration of the Dark Horse.
8th December- The Feast of James & John
Various Verses & Psalms of Note
(Note: This is not a comprehensive list. One should also note that 'The Complete Beatles Lyrics' is a core component of the Verses of The Church of Rock And Roll)
We three kings of Liverpool are,
John in a taxi, Paul in car,
George on a scooter blowing his hooter,
Following Ringo Starr.
Anon.
And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our souls
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How everything still turns to gold
And if you listen very hard,
The tune will come to you at last
When all is one and one are all
To be a rock and not to roll.
Page/Plant
This is the end, beautiful friend
This is the end, my only friend
The end
It hurts to set you free
But you'll never follow me.
The end of laughter and soft lies
The end of nights we tried to die
This is the End.
The Doors
Well I'm an old bluesman
And I think that you understand
I've been singing the blues
Ever since the world began.
The Doors.
For the music is your special friend
Dance on fire as it intends
Music is your only friend
Until the end.
The Doors.
At last, at last
I'll live in peace at last
Forgiven for my past
Peace at last
Russell/Wakeman/Liszt
So I called up the captain
"Please bring me my wine"
He said
"We haven't had that spirit here since 1969"
Felder/Frey/Henley
Did you write the book of love
And do you have faith in God above,
If the bible tells you so,
And do you believe in rock n' roll?
Can music save your mortal soul?
And can you teach me how to dance real slow?
McLean
I met a girl who sang the blues
And I asked her for some happy news
But she just smiled and turned away
I went down to the sacred store
Where I'd heard the music years before
But the man there said the music wouldn't play
And in the streets the children screamed
The lovers cried, and the poets dreamed
But not a word was spoken
The church bells all were broken
And the three men I admire most
The Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost
They caught the last train for the coast
The day the music died.
McLean
They call me The Seeker
I've been searching low and high
I won't get to get what I'm after
Till the day I die
I asked Bobby Dylan
I asked The Beatles
I asked Timothy Leary
But he couldn't help me either.
Townshend
Disclaimer: You may not have noticed, but this is (more or less) a joke. No offence intended. Except to Phil Collins, obviously.
