Cobain and Memory Loss...

For the last few days, I've been struggling to remember where I was when Kurt Cobain died. I honestly can't remember. Despite being 12, being able to remember things much further back than that, despite having always had an interest in the music world, I can't for the life of me remember it at all.

I remember Roy Orbison dying in 1988, but I don't remember Kurt. I remember Biggie and Tupac in the 90s despite taking no interest in rap at the time. I remember so many things, but not Kurt.

Kurt Cobain has never been my style. Nirvana's grunge sound never appealed to me, even in my lowest moments of teenage depression. What can I say, I just prefer Dean Martin.

And yet, a feeling of real melancholy overcame me yesterday when faced with the reality that Kurt Cobain has been dead ten years. It made me feel old. Really old. Not just in simple numerical terms, but in every sense. After all, my heroes were dead long before Kurt, so how old do I feel knowing that something that feels like it happened 'yesterday' is now a decade past?

I've never been a Nirvana fan. I've never really been interested in how Kurt died, whether Courtney had anything to do with it. I've never really cared, to be honest. Yet, I've always understood why people love the man. After all, he's the Jim Morrison for my generation (I prefer the real Jim Morrison, myself). He's not half as accomplished in terms of poetry as Jim, but the nerve he touched is much the same. He's not as pretty either, but I guess that's subjective anyway. I've never liked Nirvana much, but I've always respected Kurt. You'll never hear me cut him down like I do so many other supposed 'greats' of the music scene, dead or alive. I don't know why, but I always got why people took Kurt to their hearts. Maybe it is just because he's the 90s Morrison, or perhaps I heard more in Nirvana's music than I thought. Perhaps I was just put off by the fact he dressed like Neil 'Boring as Shite' Young, who I will cut down, dead or alive.

The fact is, when grungy sorts and teen angst-riddled young 'uns worship at the altar of St Kurt, I do get it. I don't subscribe to it, but I get it. Like with Jim and all the other sacrificial lambs to the rock and roll gods, I know why people loved Kurt, still love Kurt and will always love him. I don't have to agree to understand.

I have a vested interest, as always, in being so sad yesterday. Kurt's death reminded me of the boys I've lost, never had and will never have. Especially Jim. Perhaps it's the natures of their deaths- Jim's was mostly self-inflicted while Kurt... well, Courtney theories aside, it was self-inflicted, as opposed to the Lennons of this world, who were taken from us. For whatever reasons, they took themselves away from us. I don't really hate Jim for being a boorish wanker at times. No, the only reason I have ever, will ever hate him for is removing himself from the world. You see, these two men have taught us so much in the 27 years they each so generously bestowed upon us. They did so much for us, but what they never understood is that they would've served us all so much better by living. They would've helped us- and themselves- so much more by living. By dying, they removed themselves from our lives, becoming only vague spectres around us, defined only by what they left behind. Their lives have been cheapened by their deaths, not enriched by them. Jim Morrison and Kurt Cobain were icons before they died. They didn't need to die for us. Someone once said that Jim Morrison is the rock and roll Christ that died for our sins.

I disagree. He died for his own. He did not need to die. He did not have to die to achieve what he has. He would've served us all so much better by living, and so would Kurt Cobain. They could've bested their own demons and helped us with ours in the process. Jim and Kurt are not martyrs to the cause, they're collateral damage, or some other such less mixed metaphor.

God love them both, but imagine what they could've done for us and themselves by living. Just imagine.

Cobain and Memory Loss...

For the last few days, I've been struggling to remember where I was when Kurt Cobain died. I honestly can't remember. Despite being 12, being able to remember things much further back than that, despite having always had an interest in the music world, I can't for the life of me remember it at all.

I remember Roy Orbison dying in 1988, but I don't remember Kurt. I remember Biggie and Tupac in the 90s despite taking no interest in rap at the time. I remember so many things, but not Kurt.

Kurt Cobain has never been my style. Nirvana's grunge sound never appealed to me, even in my lowest moments of teenage depression. What can I say, I just prefer Dean Martin.

And yet, a feeling of real melancholy overcame me yesterday when faced with the reality that Kurt Cobain has been dead ten years. It made me feel old. Really old. Not just in simple numerical terms, but in every sense. After all, my heroes were dead long before Kurt, so how old do I feel knowing that something that feels like it happened 'yesterday' is now a decade past?

I've never been a Nirvana fan. I've never really been interested in how Kurt died, whether Courtney had anything to do with it. I've never really cared, to be honest. Yet, I've always understood why people love the man. After all, he's the Jim Morrison for my generation (I prefer the real Jim Morrison, myself). He's not half as accomplished in terms of poetry as Jim, but the nerve he touched is much the same. He's not as pretty either, but I guess that's subjective anyway. I've never liked Nirvana much, but I've always respected Kurt. You'll never hear me cut him down like I do so many other supposed 'greats' of the music scene, dead or alive. I don't know why, but I always got why people took Kurt to their hearts. Maybe it is just because he's the 90s Morrison, or perhaps I heard more in Nirvana's music than I thought. Perhaps I was just put off by the fact he dressed like Neil 'Boring as Shite' Young, who I will cut down, dead or alive.

The fact is, when grungy sorts and teen angst-riddled young 'uns worship at the altar of St Kurt, I do get it. I don't subscribe to it, but I get it. Like with Jim and all the other sacrificial lambs to the rock and roll gods, I know why people loved Kurt, still love Kurt and will always love him. I don't have to agree to understand.

I have a vested interest, as always, in being so sad yesterday. Kurt's death reminded me of the boys I've lost, never had and will never have. Especially Jim. Perhaps it's the natures of their deaths- Jim's was mostly self-inflicted while Kurt... well, Courtney theories aside, it was self-inflicted, as opposed to the Lennons of this world, who were taken from us. For whatever reasons, they took themselves away from us. I don't really hate Jim for being a boorish wanker at times. No, the only reason I have ever, will ever hate him for is removing himself from the world. You see, these two men have taught us so much in the 27 years they each so generously bestowed upon us. They did so much for us, but what they never understood is that they would've served us all so much better by living. They would've helped us- and themselves- so much more by living. By dying, they removed themselves from our lives, becoming only vague spectres around us, defined only by what they left behind. Their lives have been cheapened by their deaths, not enriched by them. Jim Morrison and Kurt Cobain were icons before they died. They didn't need to die for us. Someone once said that Jim Morrison is the rock and roll Christ that died for our sins.

I disagree. He died for his own. He did not need to die. He did not have to die to achieve what he has. He would've served us all so much better by living, and so would Kurt Cobain. They could've bested their own demons and helped us with ours in the process. Jim and Kurt are not martyrs to the cause, they're collateral damage, or some other such less mixed metaphor.

God love them both, but imagine what they could've done for us and themselves by living. Just imagine.

Memething cos I'm bored...

Taken from emony, cos you know, she rocks and cos I'm bored. :D

( Memeage )

Memething cos I'm bored...

Taken from emony, cos you know, she rocks and cos I'm bored. :D

( Memeage )