Seven Years of Lily
Thursday, 10 June 2004 03:34![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
apollaHello all! I've actually managed to finish a MWPP era fic! *applause* It's Lily-orientated and I hope you all like it. Whatever your opinion, leave it by clicking right there on 'Smart-Arse Remarks'
Seven Years of Lily
Life was a funny sort of thing. Things that seemed life-or-death decisions one day were robbed of significance the next. People you hated one year became people you couldn't live without a year later. A funny sort of thing.
*
First Year
Lily didn't know where she was going. Professor McGonagall had been very thorough in explaining everything to do with getting onto Platform 9 3/4, but she hadn't said what to do once on the train. Was there a special compartment for First Years, like they had in Enid Blyton books? Was she meant to be somewhere specific?
She paused in her contemplation long enough to wave to her parents from a window as the train pulled away. Her heart began thumping hard. No way back now- she really was a witch and she was really going to magic school.
As she searched in vain for a compartment not already taken by groups of friends, she realised that it was still just a school, and she was still going to have to deal with everything that came with that. Like what might happen if the big kids caught sight of a little girl like her all on her own. Finding somewhere to sit was definitely her first priority.
Finally, right at the end of the train, she found a totally empty compartment. Sliding the door open, she went in and sat down by the window. Now that the trauma of finding somewhere was over, all she had to do was sit and wait until she got to school. But once she got to school, would they like her? She really didn't know anything about the wizard world, despite all those books she'd read over the summer. So she knew that Hogwarts Great Hall had an enchanted ceiling that made it look like there was no roof, but what use was that really? She didn't know anything and she was sure she was going to seem like a complete know-nothing idiot.
"There's only some girl in this one!"
Lily's head whipped round to see a blond boy in the doorway of her compartment. A moment later, four boys trooped into the compartment and began chattering loudly. They completely ignored her.
"I reckon I'll end up in Slytherin," said one of them bitterly. He was quite tall and lanky for an eleven-year-old and had very dark hair.
"No you won't," replied another. He was quite little and his brown hair had hints of grey at the temples. The black haired boy snorted.
"Course I will. Runs in the bloody family, doesn't it?"
"Don't swear, Sirius," added another boy. Like 'Sirius' he had black hair, but wasn't quite as pale or thin.
"Don't swear Sirius," Sirius mimicked. "You take after your mother, James."
"I think you'll be in Gryffindor," said the blond boy after a moment. "I think you're brave."
"That's true," said Sirius with a cocky smile. James sighed.
"I don't really care where we end up, just so long as it's all four of us together. And not Slytherin, obviously."
"That Lucius Malfoy is a Slytherin," said Sirius. "He's still sniffing round Bella. Deserve each other if you ask me."
"Does she like him back?" asked the blond boy. Sirius snorted derisively.
"I don't know and I don't care. She's a conceited, snobby little-"
"Sirius!" interrupted James, shooting him a warning sort of look and nodding towards Lily. Sirius looked over at Lily a little curiously. Then he turned back to his friends and made a face.
"Does anyone want this Circe card?" asked the blond boy, munching on a frog made of chocolate that seemed to be wriggling. The focus of attention moved away from Lily and they paid no more attention to her for the rest of the journey.
***
Second Year
"What did you do to your hair, Evans?" asked James Potter with a snicker. Lily felt her face going red as the entire common room turned to look at her and then laugh. All she'd done was pull it loose of its usual ponytail or plait. The mirror had said her hair looked nice down. She looked down and went over to sit with her friend Dolly.
"Ignore him," whispered Dolly. "You know he's just a silly little boy."
"I know," Lily replied, although knowing he was stupid didn't make her feel better. She didn't really understand why people liked James, but she understood even less the reasons he seemed to delight in picking on her. She opened her Potions textbook and attempted to concentrate.
A loud burst of laughter in the opposite corner disrupted her chain of thoughts. She looked up and saw James Potter and his friends playing some sort of game. She didn't normally talk to them- it was just asking for trouble- but she really did have to get her homework done.
"Could you please be quiet?" she asked.
"Please be quiet!" parroted James and Sirius in unison. "Please be quiet!"
"Just shut up!" she said hotly. "Some of us have work to do!"
"Why don't you shut up?" said Sirius. "You're the one making all the noise."
"Only because you were noisy first!" she said, knowing she was being drawn into a pointless argument but unable to stop herself.
"Why don't you just sit down and count how many people don't like you, Evans? That should keep you busy for a few hours," said Sirius in a spiteful sort of voice. The familiar hot feeling behind her eyes warned her of impending tears. She looked him right in the eye and saw nothing but laughter. Silently, she sat back down.
She wasn't popular, she knew that. She didn't really mind not being popular. Nobody really hated her, and so it was fine by her. Lily liked books and when at home she liked Coronation Street. She had a nice simple life and she liked it that way. But when people like Sirius Black and James Potter were so mean to her, she wondered if she was wrong. There must be a reason they were nasty to her, after all. Was there something wrong with her? At least she knew why Slytherins like Lucius Malfoy made cruel comments directed at her. Sirius and James' reasons were less obvious.
Dolly reached over and squeezed her hand. Lily smiled at her a little wanly and turned her attention back to Potions.
***
Third Year
He was probably her least favourite person in the world, even including Petunia, but it had to be said that James Potter knew what he was doing on a Quidditch pitch. She'd taken an interest in Quidditch this year and been repaid with Gryffindor winning the Quidditch Cup. This was the first year that anyone in her year was in the team, and she'd known it would be James and Sirius. They were just the sort of boys everyone seemed to like.
Sometimes, even Lily liked them a little. But then they'd do something to remind her why she didn't like them. Last week, they'd charmed her toothpaste so that it turned her teeth green. She'd had to go to Madam Pomfrey to sort that one out. Just before Christmas, they'd done something- she still didn't know what- to make her trunk weigh twice as much as it really did. She'd strained her back trying to hoist it onto the Hogwarts Express to go home for the holidays. Only Severus Snape had worse tricks played on him.
She'd got to the point where she just didn't care about it anymore. Sirius' comments no longer brought tears to her eyes and she didn't care if James made everyone laugh at her expense. Her mother had told her that they probably didn't even realise how much they hurt her and if she ignored them, they'd go away.
The party celebrating Gryffindor's great victory went on all around her, and she smiled. Last year she would've scowled and run up to the dorm. She wasn't exactly the life and soul of the party now, but she was on the verge of actually enjoying herself. A voice called out to her.
"Lily! Come and get some Butterbeer!"
She smiled as she recognised the voice of another Third year girl, Deborah. Her newfound social confidence had allowed her to get to know her dormmates a little better. Dolly was still her best friend, but she knew now that Deborah wasn't just a vain little witch but was highly skilled at Astronomy, and she knew that Georgina was more than just a tomboy. She grinned. Georgina was as human and girly as the rest of them, and had a crush on Amos Diggory, the handsome Hufflepuff Seventh Year who was Head Boy this year.
"Isn't it wonderful? Gryffindor hasn't won the Quidditch Cup for a few years!" said Deborah enthusiastically.
"It's great, Debs," replied Lily, happy but not quite as buoyant as Deborah.
"I know everyone's going on about James Potter's chaser skills, but I still say the superior talents of our two Beaters outfoxed the Slytherins," said Georgina, coming over from a conversation with some First years. "The First years seem to worship Potter, but there are six other players on the team!"
"Don't let young Mr Potter hear you say that," said Lily. "It might shatter his delicate confidence."
"Delicate my- Hello James!" Georgina said with a giggle as James himself appeared.
"Should my ears be burning, George?"
"Not at all."
"Good! Are you going to congratulate me?" he asked with what he assumed to be a dashing smile.
"I think you all did very well," she replied pointedly. James' smile faded a little, but he turned to Debs and asked the same question.
"You were very good," she said with a bright smile for James and an eye-roll for Lily and Georgina. James then turned his attention onto Lily. For a horrible moment she thought he was going to make some mean-spirited comment. Instead he grinned.
"What did you think, Evans?"
She was so relieved that he was as self-concerned as she thought that she found herself saying, "You were very good."
James shot her a blinding, bright smile and then went back to his pals, his ego stroked enough for one go.
***
Fourth Year
Something changed in Fourth year. She wasn't sure what. It wasn't really that she'd shot up five inches in only a few months, or that her mother had taken her into London over the summer to get new clothes now that she was 'a grown up girl'. She knew it wasn't that. Something inside Lily herself had changed. She was sociable to a point that she'd never been before. More than that, she was au fait with the magical world now- no longer that unsure little girl, and that seemed to work wonders on her confidence.
Even more than that though, she was no longer scared of Sirius Black and his tricks. It was no secret that Lily was one of the most able witches in their year, particularly in Charms. There was no charm he knew that she didn't know the solution to, and that seemed to make anything he could do so much less intimidating. Then one day, she stood up to Sirius and his friends.
It was just another Hogsmeade weekend and she relished the chance to get off the school grounds for a little while, and it gave her the chance to show off her new clothes to her friends and go to the bookshop to buy a book she'd had her eye on. All in all, it looked like it was going to be a good day.
Except that Hogsmeade Saturday seemed to bring the boisterous worst in Sirius and his pals. It always started the night before, when they'd begin planning their day ahead, lasted through all of Saturday and until their sweets ran out, usually sometime on Sunday. All in all, they were insufferable for the whole weekend, and she was not looking forward to it.
She got through the morning just fine, mostly because the boys had already started off towards Hogsmeade when she emerged from her dorm. Then as she was on her way from Honeydukes to the bookshop, they saw her.
"OI EVANS!" The unmistakeable voice of Sirius Black ripped through the serenity of Saturday on Hogsmeade High Street. She froze on the spot and turned around to see the four boys running over to her. Sirius stopped in front of her and looked at her.
"What are you wearing?" he demanded.
"Clothes. I thought that was pretty self-evident," she snapped. "Did you want something?"
"Did I? Oh, I did!" he replied. "We wanted to know if you'd done the Potions homework yet?"
"No. And even if I had, there's no way in the world I'd let you copy it," she snarled angrily at him. "Go find some gullible little fool or better still, get off your own arse and for the first time in your life, do it yourself!"
Sirius blinked. Once. Twice. Three times. Nobody had ever quite talked back to him with such ferocity.
"Um... Sirius..." said James, looking uncertainly between the two of them. "Why don't we go to the Three Broomsticks?"
James and Remus tugged on Sirius' robe sleeves, but he did not move. He stared at Lily, although she couldn't tell if it was a surprised or angry stare.
"I don't like those jeans," he said finally. He turned on his heel and stomped back down the high street. Remus and Peter ran after him, but James paused.
"Nobody's told him off for years," he said. Lily snorted.
"That much is clear." She hoisted her bag onto her shoulder and stalked off towards the bookshop.
***
She had been expecting reprisals, but none came. In fact, the number of pranks against Lily dropped drastically, and she found herself no longer having to check her food before eating or her chair before sitting down. Sirius no longer made nasty-spirited comments about her in front of everyone.
Somehow, by standing up to the over-confident Mr Black, she had earned a certain amount of respect from him and his cronies. She wished she'd done it years ago: it made life so much easier.
***
Fifth Year
Lily couldn't pinpoint the exact day or week that James Potter began asking her out, but she had the suspicion it was somewhere around the time she was given the ability to take points away from him and his pals. Remus had been made prefect alongside her, and she was sure he was asking her out so that he had both Fifth year prefects on his side. Either that or it was an elaborate prank.
Whatever the reason, you couldn't fault him for persistence. She wasn't paying that much attention, but not one week hadn't gone by without at least one request that she go out with him. He did it at all kinds of curious times.
"Oi Evans, pass the salt will you?" James shouted to her at dinner one evening. Without looking away from the conversation she was having with Dolly, she passed the salt across to him. "Thanks. Will you go out with me?"
"No."
***
"Evans, do you have Debs' Arithmancy book?" James asked in the common room one evening.
"No."
"All right then. Will you go out with me?"
"No."
"OK."
***
"You are an arrogant, jumped up little boy who thinks his smile will defeat anything in its path!" she shouted at him. "Not this time, Potter! Not me! You're coming with me to Professor McGonagall!"
"What for?" he demanded angrily, quite aware that everyone in the common room was watching them keenly.
"What for? What FOR? You were in the girls' dormitory!"
"I was invited!"
"I don't give a rat's arse if you were asked to redecorate, you're not allowed up there! I don't even know how you got past the anti-boy wards."
"I'm talented that way," he replied, throwing another charming smile her way. It didn't work on her. It never did.
"Come with me," she hissed angrily. It wasn't so much that he'd broken the rules, but that he'd been in the girls dorm at all. It was like... a violation. It was the only space that had ever been secure from James and the other three pests (except for that memorable toothpaste incident, but they'd had inside help. Et tu Dolly.) and now he'd proved that even her sanctuary was no longer safe. "You're going to explain to McGonagall."
"Fine. You'll be sorry!" he proclaimed as he followed her out of the portrait hole. They walked down the corridor in silence for a moment.
"That was fun," he said, running a hand through his hair.
"What?"
"Arguing with you like that, making everyone think we hate each other. I enjoyed it."
"You enjoyed it? Enjoyed? I swear Potter, you're not in the same galaxy as the normal people."
"Normal is overrated."
"You... Did you concoct this whole bloody charade? Is this one of your elaborate schemes?"
"No."
"So what were you doing up in the girls dorm?"
"I told you, I was invited."
"By who? No. Wait. I do not want to know."
"Evans?"
"What?"
"Will you go out with me."
"No."
"All right."
They arrived at Professor McGonagall's office in short order. Lily explained briefly then fled back to the not-so-secure sanctuary of her dorm.
On her pillow was a note. "Will you go out with me on Saturday?"
***
Sixth Year
Lily finally gave into James Potter's requests for her time just before Christmas, around the same time he stopped asking. She never quite knew what inspired her to go up to him as she did. Perhaps it was the nasty teasing Petunia had indulged in over the Summer about her sister's perennially single state. Perhaps she'd just gone soft in the head. Perhaps the musty smell of the library had turned her head. Whatever the reason, one Thursday just before Christmas, she got up and wandered over to the table he was hunched over.
"James?" she asked quietly, to avoid annoying Madam Pince.
"What?" he asked gruffly, turning another page in a Charms book.
"Are you all right?" she asked, temporarily distracted from her task by his foul mood.
"Triffic," he mumbled. "What do you want?"
"I wanted something? Oh. Yes. Well, I was wondering what you're doing on Saturday."
"Why? I don't have time to help you with Transfiguration. Ask Georgina."
"Not that. I was thinking perhaps... Never mind." Her courage gone, she turned to walk away. He now looked up from his book.
"What?"
"It really doesn't matter."
"Tell me," he said, rubbing his tired eyes. She turned back around to look at him. He looked quite pathetic really with his red, tired eyes and messy hair. Her heart melted ever so slightly.
"I don't have any plans on Saturday and I was thinking you might fill them in with me?"
"Are you asking me out, Evans?"
"No! Yes, well possibly. Technically, yes, I suppose I am."
"The fact I spent an entire year asking you out, only to be turned down every time doesn't bother you?" he asked, running a hand through his hair.
For the first time, Lily realised that her continual rejection of him must've hurt more than he'd ever let on. She sat down opposite him.
"I thought you were joking. I thought it was a prank."
"It wasn't." James shut his book and got up, shoving everything in his bag.
"Its almost dinner time," he said, turning and beginning to walk away. The sting of his rejection began to sink in and she felt deflated. It hurt more than she had expected.
"Evans?"
She looked up to see him stood in the doorway.
"Yes?"
"Does Sunday suit? I promised Remus we'd do some stuff on Saturday."
"Oh, well. Yes, that's fine," she said, a broad smile spreading across her face as he disappeared down the corridor. Being accepted was a much nicer feeling than she'd expected.
***
Seventh Year
Becoming James Potter's girlfriend in the Sixth Year had made Lily a much more visible figure in school life. She was now something to be gossiped about, as most school gossip usually revolved around Potter and his pals. She didn't really notice things change much aside from almost continual whispering, but she wasn't sure she would've noticed anyway. Being James' girlfriend was much more time consuming than she'd expected, not least when she found herself falling- hard- in love with him. She found that she had to deal with both James and his friends as a package deal, and while she didn't mind too much, sometimes it was tiresome.
Then again, she saw a side to each of them that she'd never seen before. Just in glimmers usually, but she'd been surprised to learn that Peter had a real knack with potions. He lacked the confidence to really push his abilities on other people, so to find him quietly explaining the finer points of a potion to Sirius one day had been an eye-opener.
Remus was the Defence Against The Dark Arts brain of the group, although he lack the arrogance to push his abilities on other people. He received more respect from James and Sirius than Peter did, probably because, like Lily herself, he wouldn't accept their liberty-taking. She hadn't realised when they were prefects together quite how much he had kept an eye on his wayward friends, how much he persuaded them from trouble. She'd never noticed because he didn't take points for mischief- preferring to try and nip it in the bud at the start. He was sweeter, more considerate than the other three, and seemed more attuned to people's moods. If Sirius was the devil of the quartet, Remus was its conscience.
Sirius had surprised her more than any of them. She hadn't really been surprised that James did much more work than anyone thought, but she was surprised that Sirius was always studying right alongside him. She hadn't realised the sort of things Sirius had had to deal with when he lived with his parents, and after that hadn't been surprised that he'd become much easier to deal with since leaving home last year. Nor, in fact, had she realised how caring he was towards his friends. Whenever Remus was ill, Sirius was there to cheer him up, whenever James was despairing over something, Sirius was there to help him through it, and when Peter was being picked on, Sirius was there, hexes at the ready. She'd never really be able to forgive him for the things he'd said and done to her when they were younger, but she could appreciate the new, slightly improved Sirius.
Sometimes.
"Lil-ee!" Sirius whined. "Don't take points away from me. I wasn't doing anything wrong."
"You left the tower at 1 o'clock in the morning to get food from the kitchens. That's not allowed, therefore it is classed as wrong," she said in a slow I-want-you-to-understand-every-single-word sort of voice.
"Wrong is such a subjective term," he moaned. "I was hungry! Really, really hungry! I couldn't have lasted another second without food."
Behind him, James sniggered. He had not been out with Sirius, but had been with Lily in the common room when Sirius returned and so got caught.
"Don't be so bloody dramatic," she said. "How you weren't caught by Filch I'm sure I don't know."
"Luck," he said flippantly. He shot a secret sort of smile at James. It disappeared on seeing Lily's expression.
"Well, I caught you coming back, so it's bad luck for you after all," she said coldly.
"You wouldn't have caught me if-" Sirius stopped abruptly and glared at James.
"If what?" she demanded suspiciously, looking between the two of them.
"Nothing," they said at the same time. She did not look impressed.
"I'm going to get my notebook," she said. "I'm going to take five points off you."
She went back up to her dorm and yawned as she shuffled through her bag for her notebook. As she went back down the stairs, she heard them arguing quietly.
"It's not my bloody fault she came downstairs!" James whispered.
"Maybe so, but you're the one who got distracted rather than distracting her from me coming back! Half this food was for you. What was it you said, James? 'You go to the kitchens, I'll keep watch here!' Some pal you are!"
"You should've been quieter, idiot! I had the matter firmly in hand."
"That's not all you had in hand from what I could see."
"Sirius, don't you dare say anything about her-"
"Would I?"
"Yes! I already told you, make remarks about Lily and suffer death by a thousand hexes."
"Yeah yeah. But don't you forget I've lost another five sodding points thanks to your ineptitude. You know what Dumbledore told me! It's all your fault."
"Mine? You're the twonk who let the portrait slam shut!"
Lily forced herself not to laugh as she went back into the common room.
"From the sounds of it, I should be taking points from both of you," she said. James looked horrified at the thought that he, the Head Boy, should have points taken away from him by the Head Girl- his girlfriend no less.
"You wouldn't do that to me!" he exclaimed, before being shushed by both of them.
"I would and you know it," she replied. He turned on his most impressive smile.
"I don't think you would."
"Try me."
James sidled over to her and put his arm around her waist.
"Lily..." he mumbled, nuzzling her neck. Sirius sniggered slightly.
"Nice try," she said, nudging him away.
"Oh come on!" James moved away from her and scowled petulantly.
"There is only one way the two of you are going to get out of this predicament."
"What's that?" Sirius asked cautiously.
"You won't like it."
"Tell us anyway," added James.
"It's a terrible punishment. I don't think you'll want to know."
"Just tell us."
"I want to share your food, I'm starving!" she said, cracking a wicked grin. The two boys shared a look.
"Done!" they said in unison. Sirius opened the hamper the House Elves had given him.
"We can't eat here!" said James. "What if someone else comes down? Besides, we promised some of this to Remus and Peter."
"Well, we'll just have to eat in your dorm," said Lily. They looked at her with a mixture of horror and surprise. A girl in their dorm?
"What? Don't be such sissies."
"But it's against the rules," said Sirius in a voice so solemn it couldn't be entirely serious.
"So? Am I likely to get caught?" she asked. They shook their heads. She smiled ingenuously. "Then what's the problem?"
"There isn't one," said James with a grin. "Let's go then."
As they went up the stairs to the Seventh year boys’ dorms, it struck Lily how far she'd come since her days as a scared eleven-year-old, when these same boys had managed to sit in a train compartment all the way from London to Hogsmeade without even noticing her. Life was a funny sort of thing.
"You know Sirius," she said with a giggle as they tiptoed past the Second year dorm. "Your life would've been much easier if you'd only broken the rules where you couldn't get caught."
"Yeah, but where's the fun in that?"
A very funny sort of thing.
***
The End.
Seven Years of Lily
Life was a funny sort of thing. Things that seemed life-or-death decisions one day were robbed of significance the next. People you hated one year became people you couldn't live without a year later. A funny sort of thing.
*
First Year
Lily didn't know where she was going. Professor McGonagall had been very thorough in explaining everything to do with getting onto Platform 9 3/4, but she hadn't said what to do once on the train. Was there a special compartment for First Years, like they had in Enid Blyton books? Was she meant to be somewhere specific?
She paused in her contemplation long enough to wave to her parents from a window as the train pulled away. Her heart began thumping hard. No way back now- she really was a witch and she was really going to magic school.
As she searched in vain for a compartment not already taken by groups of friends, she realised that it was still just a school, and she was still going to have to deal with everything that came with that. Like what might happen if the big kids caught sight of a little girl like her all on her own. Finding somewhere to sit was definitely her first priority.
Finally, right at the end of the train, she found a totally empty compartment. Sliding the door open, she went in and sat down by the window. Now that the trauma of finding somewhere was over, all she had to do was sit and wait until she got to school. But once she got to school, would they like her? She really didn't know anything about the wizard world, despite all those books she'd read over the summer. So she knew that Hogwarts Great Hall had an enchanted ceiling that made it look like there was no roof, but what use was that really? She didn't know anything and she was sure she was going to seem like a complete know-nothing idiot.
"There's only some girl in this one!"
Lily's head whipped round to see a blond boy in the doorway of her compartment. A moment later, four boys trooped into the compartment and began chattering loudly. They completely ignored her.
"I reckon I'll end up in Slytherin," said one of them bitterly. He was quite tall and lanky for an eleven-year-old and had very dark hair.
"No you won't," replied another. He was quite little and his brown hair had hints of grey at the temples. The black haired boy snorted.
"Course I will. Runs in the bloody family, doesn't it?"
"Don't swear, Sirius," added another boy. Like 'Sirius' he had black hair, but wasn't quite as pale or thin.
"Don't swear Sirius," Sirius mimicked. "You take after your mother, James."
"I think you'll be in Gryffindor," said the blond boy after a moment. "I think you're brave."
"That's true," said Sirius with a cocky smile. James sighed.
"I don't really care where we end up, just so long as it's all four of us together. And not Slytherin, obviously."
"That Lucius Malfoy is a Slytherin," said Sirius. "He's still sniffing round Bella. Deserve each other if you ask me."
"Does she like him back?" asked the blond boy. Sirius snorted derisively.
"I don't know and I don't care. She's a conceited, snobby little-"
"Sirius!" interrupted James, shooting him a warning sort of look and nodding towards Lily. Sirius looked over at Lily a little curiously. Then he turned back to his friends and made a face.
"Does anyone want this Circe card?" asked the blond boy, munching on a frog made of chocolate that seemed to be wriggling. The focus of attention moved away from Lily and they paid no more attention to her for the rest of the journey.
***
Second Year
"What did you do to your hair, Evans?" asked James Potter with a snicker. Lily felt her face going red as the entire common room turned to look at her and then laugh. All she'd done was pull it loose of its usual ponytail or plait. The mirror had said her hair looked nice down. She looked down and went over to sit with her friend Dolly.
"Ignore him," whispered Dolly. "You know he's just a silly little boy."
"I know," Lily replied, although knowing he was stupid didn't make her feel better. She didn't really understand why people liked James, but she understood even less the reasons he seemed to delight in picking on her. She opened her Potions textbook and attempted to concentrate.
A loud burst of laughter in the opposite corner disrupted her chain of thoughts. She looked up and saw James Potter and his friends playing some sort of game. She didn't normally talk to them- it was just asking for trouble- but she really did have to get her homework done.
"Could you please be quiet?" she asked.
"Please be quiet!" parroted James and Sirius in unison. "Please be quiet!"
"Just shut up!" she said hotly. "Some of us have work to do!"
"Why don't you shut up?" said Sirius. "You're the one making all the noise."
"Only because you were noisy first!" she said, knowing she was being drawn into a pointless argument but unable to stop herself.
"Why don't you just sit down and count how many people don't like you, Evans? That should keep you busy for a few hours," said Sirius in a spiteful sort of voice. The familiar hot feeling behind her eyes warned her of impending tears. She looked him right in the eye and saw nothing but laughter. Silently, she sat back down.
She wasn't popular, she knew that. She didn't really mind not being popular. Nobody really hated her, and so it was fine by her. Lily liked books and when at home she liked Coronation Street. She had a nice simple life and she liked it that way. But when people like Sirius Black and James Potter were so mean to her, she wondered if she was wrong. There must be a reason they were nasty to her, after all. Was there something wrong with her? At least she knew why Slytherins like Lucius Malfoy made cruel comments directed at her. Sirius and James' reasons were less obvious.
Dolly reached over and squeezed her hand. Lily smiled at her a little wanly and turned her attention back to Potions.
***
Third Year
He was probably her least favourite person in the world, even including Petunia, but it had to be said that James Potter knew what he was doing on a Quidditch pitch. She'd taken an interest in Quidditch this year and been repaid with Gryffindor winning the Quidditch Cup. This was the first year that anyone in her year was in the team, and she'd known it would be James and Sirius. They were just the sort of boys everyone seemed to like.
Sometimes, even Lily liked them a little. But then they'd do something to remind her why she didn't like them. Last week, they'd charmed her toothpaste so that it turned her teeth green. She'd had to go to Madam Pomfrey to sort that one out. Just before Christmas, they'd done something- she still didn't know what- to make her trunk weigh twice as much as it really did. She'd strained her back trying to hoist it onto the Hogwarts Express to go home for the holidays. Only Severus Snape had worse tricks played on him.
She'd got to the point where she just didn't care about it anymore. Sirius' comments no longer brought tears to her eyes and she didn't care if James made everyone laugh at her expense. Her mother had told her that they probably didn't even realise how much they hurt her and if she ignored them, they'd go away.
The party celebrating Gryffindor's great victory went on all around her, and she smiled. Last year she would've scowled and run up to the dorm. She wasn't exactly the life and soul of the party now, but she was on the verge of actually enjoying herself. A voice called out to her.
"Lily! Come and get some Butterbeer!"
She smiled as she recognised the voice of another Third year girl, Deborah. Her newfound social confidence had allowed her to get to know her dormmates a little better. Dolly was still her best friend, but she knew now that Deborah wasn't just a vain little witch but was highly skilled at Astronomy, and she knew that Georgina was more than just a tomboy. She grinned. Georgina was as human and girly as the rest of them, and had a crush on Amos Diggory, the handsome Hufflepuff Seventh Year who was Head Boy this year.
"Isn't it wonderful? Gryffindor hasn't won the Quidditch Cup for a few years!" said Deborah enthusiastically.
"It's great, Debs," replied Lily, happy but not quite as buoyant as Deborah.
"I know everyone's going on about James Potter's chaser skills, but I still say the superior talents of our two Beaters outfoxed the Slytherins," said Georgina, coming over from a conversation with some First years. "The First years seem to worship Potter, but there are six other players on the team!"
"Don't let young Mr Potter hear you say that," said Lily. "It might shatter his delicate confidence."
"Delicate my- Hello James!" Georgina said with a giggle as James himself appeared.
"Should my ears be burning, George?"
"Not at all."
"Good! Are you going to congratulate me?" he asked with what he assumed to be a dashing smile.
"I think you all did very well," she replied pointedly. James' smile faded a little, but he turned to Debs and asked the same question.
"You were very good," she said with a bright smile for James and an eye-roll for Lily and Georgina. James then turned his attention onto Lily. For a horrible moment she thought he was going to make some mean-spirited comment. Instead he grinned.
"What did you think, Evans?"
She was so relieved that he was as self-concerned as she thought that she found herself saying, "You were very good."
James shot her a blinding, bright smile and then went back to his pals, his ego stroked enough for one go.
***
Fourth Year
Something changed in Fourth year. She wasn't sure what. It wasn't really that she'd shot up five inches in only a few months, or that her mother had taken her into London over the summer to get new clothes now that she was 'a grown up girl'. She knew it wasn't that. Something inside Lily herself had changed. She was sociable to a point that she'd never been before. More than that, she was au fait with the magical world now- no longer that unsure little girl, and that seemed to work wonders on her confidence.
Even more than that though, she was no longer scared of Sirius Black and his tricks. It was no secret that Lily was one of the most able witches in their year, particularly in Charms. There was no charm he knew that she didn't know the solution to, and that seemed to make anything he could do so much less intimidating. Then one day, she stood up to Sirius and his friends.
It was just another Hogsmeade weekend and she relished the chance to get off the school grounds for a little while, and it gave her the chance to show off her new clothes to her friends and go to the bookshop to buy a book she'd had her eye on. All in all, it looked like it was going to be a good day.
Except that Hogsmeade Saturday seemed to bring the boisterous worst in Sirius and his pals. It always started the night before, when they'd begin planning their day ahead, lasted through all of Saturday and until their sweets ran out, usually sometime on Sunday. All in all, they were insufferable for the whole weekend, and she was not looking forward to it.
She got through the morning just fine, mostly because the boys had already started off towards Hogsmeade when she emerged from her dorm. Then as she was on her way from Honeydukes to the bookshop, they saw her.
"OI EVANS!" The unmistakeable voice of Sirius Black ripped through the serenity of Saturday on Hogsmeade High Street. She froze on the spot and turned around to see the four boys running over to her. Sirius stopped in front of her and looked at her.
"What are you wearing?" he demanded.
"Clothes. I thought that was pretty self-evident," she snapped. "Did you want something?"
"Did I? Oh, I did!" he replied. "We wanted to know if you'd done the Potions homework yet?"
"No. And even if I had, there's no way in the world I'd let you copy it," she snarled angrily at him. "Go find some gullible little fool or better still, get off your own arse and for the first time in your life, do it yourself!"
Sirius blinked. Once. Twice. Three times. Nobody had ever quite talked back to him with such ferocity.
"Um... Sirius..." said James, looking uncertainly between the two of them. "Why don't we go to the Three Broomsticks?"
James and Remus tugged on Sirius' robe sleeves, but he did not move. He stared at Lily, although she couldn't tell if it was a surprised or angry stare.
"I don't like those jeans," he said finally. He turned on his heel and stomped back down the high street. Remus and Peter ran after him, but James paused.
"Nobody's told him off for years," he said. Lily snorted.
"That much is clear." She hoisted her bag onto her shoulder and stalked off towards the bookshop.
***
She had been expecting reprisals, but none came. In fact, the number of pranks against Lily dropped drastically, and she found herself no longer having to check her food before eating or her chair before sitting down. Sirius no longer made nasty-spirited comments about her in front of everyone.
Somehow, by standing up to the over-confident Mr Black, she had earned a certain amount of respect from him and his cronies. She wished she'd done it years ago: it made life so much easier.
***
Fifth Year
Lily couldn't pinpoint the exact day or week that James Potter began asking her out, but she had the suspicion it was somewhere around the time she was given the ability to take points away from him and his pals. Remus had been made prefect alongside her, and she was sure he was asking her out so that he had both Fifth year prefects on his side. Either that or it was an elaborate prank.
Whatever the reason, you couldn't fault him for persistence. She wasn't paying that much attention, but not one week hadn't gone by without at least one request that she go out with him. He did it at all kinds of curious times.
"Oi Evans, pass the salt will you?" James shouted to her at dinner one evening. Without looking away from the conversation she was having with Dolly, she passed the salt across to him. "Thanks. Will you go out with me?"
"No."
***
"Evans, do you have Debs' Arithmancy book?" James asked in the common room one evening.
"No."
"All right then. Will you go out with me?"
"No."
"OK."
***
"You are an arrogant, jumped up little boy who thinks his smile will defeat anything in its path!" she shouted at him. "Not this time, Potter! Not me! You're coming with me to Professor McGonagall!"
"What for?" he demanded angrily, quite aware that everyone in the common room was watching them keenly.
"What for? What FOR? You were in the girls' dormitory!"
"I was invited!"
"I don't give a rat's arse if you were asked to redecorate, you're not allowed up there! I don't even know how you got past the anti-boy wards."
"I'm talented that way," he replied, throwing another charming smile her way. It didn't work on her. It never did.
"Come with me," she hissed angrily. It wasn't so much that he'd broken the rules, but that he'd been in the girls dorm at all. It was like... a violation. It was the only space that had ever been secure from James and the other three pests (except for that memorable toothpaste incident, but they'd had inside help. Et tu Dolly.) and now he'd proved that even her sanctuary was no longer safe. "You're going to explain to McGonagall."
"Fine. You'll be sorry!" he proclaimed as he followed her out of the portrait hole. They walked down the corridor in silence for a moment.
"That was fun," he said, running a hand through his hair.
"What?"
"Arguing with you like that, making everyone think we hate each other. I enjoyed it."
"You enjoyed it? Enjoyed? I swear Potter, you're not in the same galaxy as the normal people."
"Normal is overrated."
"You... Did you concoct this whole bloody charade? Is this one of your elaborate schemes?"
"No."
"So what were you doing up in the girls dorm?"
"I told you, I was invited."
"By who? No. Wait. I do not want to know."
"Evans?"
"What?"
"Will you go out with me."
"No."
"All right."
They arrived at Professor McGonagall's office in short order. Lily explained briefly then fled back to the not-so-secure sanctuary of her dorm.
On her pillow was a note. "Will you go out with me on Saturday?"
***
Sixth Year
Lily finally gave into James Potter's requests for her time just before Christmas, around the same time he stopped asking. She never quite knew what inspired her to go up to him as she did. Perhaps it was the nasty teasing Petunia had indulged in over the Summer about her sister's perennially single state. Perhaps she'd just gone soft in the head. Perhaps the musty smell of the library had turned her head. Whatever the reason, one Thursday just before Christmas, she got up and wandered over to the table he was hunched over.
"James?" she asked quietly, to avoid annoying Madam Pince.
"What?" he asked gruffly, turning another page in a Charms book.
"Are you all right?" she asked, temporarily distracted from her task by his foul mood.
"Triffic," he mumbled. "What do you want?"
"I wanted something? Oh. Yes. Well, I was wondering what you're doing on Saturday."
"Why? I don't have time to help you with Transfiguration. Ask Georgina."
"Not that. I was thinking perhaps... Never mind." Her courage gone, she turned to walk away. He now looked up from his book.
"What?"
"It really doesn't matter."
"Tell me," he said, rubbing his tired eyes. She turned back around to look at him. He looked quite pathetic really with his red, tired eyes and messy hair. Her heart melted ever so slightly.
"I don't have any plans on Saturday and I was thinking you might fill them in with me?"
"Are you asking me out, Evans?"
"No! Yes, well possibly. Technically, yes, I suppose I am."
"The fact I spent an entire year asking you out, only to be turned down every time doesn't bother you?" he asked, running a hand through his hair.
For the first time, Lily realised that her continual rejection of him must've hurt more than he'd ever let on. She sat down opposite him.
"I thought you were joking. I thought it was a prank."
"It wasn't." James shut his book and got up, shoving everything in his bag.
"Its almost dinner time," he said, turning and beginning to walk away. The sting of his rejection began to sink in and she felt deflated. It hurt more than she had expected.
"Evans?"
She looked up to see him stood in the doorway.
"Yes?"
"Does Sunday suit? I promised Remus we'd do some stuff on Saturday."
"Oh, well. Yes, that's fine," she said, a broad smile spreading across her face as he disappeared down the corridor. Being accepted was a much nicer feeling than she'd expected.
***
Seventh Year
Becoming James Potter's girlfriend in the Sixth Year had made Lily a much more visible figure in school life. She was now something to be gossiped about, as most school gossip usually revolved around Potter and his pals. She didn't really notice things change much aside from almost continual whispering, but she wasn't sure she would've noticed anyway. Being James' girlfriend was much more time consuming than she'd expected, not least when she found herself falling- hard- in love with him. She found that she had to deal with both James and his friends as a package deal, and while she didn't mind too much, sometimes it was tiresome.
Then again, she saw a side to each of them that she'd never seen before. Just in glimmers usually, but she'd been surprised to learn that Peter had a real knack with potions. He lacked the confidence to really push his abilities on other people, so to find him quietly explaining the finer points of a potion to Sirius one day had been an eye-opener.
Remus was the Defence Against The Dark Arts brain of the group, although he lack the arrogance to push his abilities on other people. He received more respect from James and Sirius than Peter did, probably because, like Lily herself, he wouldn't accept their liberty-taking. She hadn't realised when they were prefects together quite how much he had kept an eye on his wayward friends, how much he persuaded them from trouble. She'd never noticed because he didn't take points for mischief- preferring to try and nip it in the bud at the start. He was sweeter, more considerate than the other three, and seemed more attuned to people's moods. If Sirius was the devil of the quartet, Remus was its conscience.
Sirius had surprised her more than any of them. She hadn't really been surprised that James did much more work than anyone thought, but she was surprised that Sirius was always studying right alongside him. She hadn't realised the sort of things Sirius had had to deal with when he lived with his parents, and after that hadn't been surprised that he'd become much easier to deal with since leaving home last year. Nor, in fact, had she realised how caring he was towards his friends. Whenever Remus was ill, Sirius was there to cheer him up, whenever James was despairing over something, Sirius was there to help him through it, and when Peter was being picked on, Sirius was there, hexes at the ready. She'd never really be able to forgive him for the things he'd said and done to her when they were younger, but she could appreciate the new, slightly improved Sirius.
Sometimes.
"Lil-ee!" Sirius whined. "Don't take points away from me. I wasn't doing anything wrong."
"You left the tower at 1 o'clock in the morning to get food from the kitchens. That's not allowed, therefore it is classed as wrong," she said in a slow I-want-you-to-understand-every-single-word sort of voice.
"Wrong is such a subjective term," he moaned. "I was hungry! Really, really hungry! I couldn't have lasted another second without food."
Behind him, James sniggered. He had not been out with Sirius, but had been with Lily in the common room when Sirius returned and so got caught.
"Don't be so bloody dramatic," she said. "How you weren't caught by Filch I'm sure I don't know."
"Luck," he said flippantly. He shot a secret sort of smile at James. It disappeared on seeing Lily's expression.
"Well, I caught you coming back, so it's bad luck for you after all," she said coldly.
"You wouldn't have caught me if-" Sirius stopped abruptly and glared at James.
"If what?" she demanded suspiciously, looking between the two of them.
"Nothing," they said at the same time. She did not look impressed.
"I'm going to get my notebook," she said. "I'm going to take five points off you."
She went back up to her dorm and yawned as she shuffled through her bag for her notebook. As she went back down the stairs, she heard them arguing quietly.
"It's not my bloody fault she came downstairs!" James whispered.
"Maybe so, but you're the one who got distracted rather than distracting her from me coming back! Half this food was for you. What was it you said, James? 'You go to the kitchens, I'll keep watch here!' Some pal you are!"
"You should've been quieter, idiot! I had the matter firmly in hand."
"That's not all you had in hand from what I could see."
"Sirius, don't you dare say anything about her-"
"Would I?"
"Yes! I already told you, make remarks about Lily and suffer death by a thousand hexes."
"Yeah yeah. But don't you forget I've lost another five sodding points thanks to your ineptitude. You know what Dumbledore told me! It's all your fault."
"Mine? You're the twonk who let the portrait slam shut!"
Lily forced herself not to laugh as she went back into the common room.
"From the sounds of it, I should be taking points from both of you," she said. James looked horrified at the thought that he, the Head Boy, should have points taken away from him by the Head Girl- his girlfriend no less.
"You wouldn't do that to me!" he exclaimed, before being shushed by both of them.
"I would and you know it," she replied. He turned on his most impressive smile.
"I don't think you would."
"Try me."
James sidled over to her and put his arm around her waist.
"Lily..." he mumbled, nuzzling her neck. Sirius sniggered slightly.
"Nice try," she said, nudging him away.
"Oh come on!" James moved away from her and scowled petulantly.
"There is only one way the two of you are going to get out of this predicament."
"What's that?" Sirius asked cautiously.
"You won't like it."
"Tell us anyway," added James.
"It's a terrible punishment. I don't think you'll want to know."
"Just tell us."
"I want to share your food, I'm starving!" she said, cracking a wicked grin. The two boys shared a look.
"Done!" they said in unison. Sirius opened the hamper the House Elves had given him.
"We can't eat here!" said James. "What if someone else comes down? Besides, we promised some of this to Remus and Peter."
"Well, we'll just have to eat in your dorm," said Lily. They looked at her with a mixture of horror and surprise. A girl in their dorm?
"What? Don't be such sissies."
"But it's against the rules," said Sirius in a voice so solemn it couldn't be entirely serious.
"So? Am I likely to get caught?" she asked. They shook their heads. She smiled ingenuously. "Then what's the problem?"
"There isn't one," said James with a grin. "Let's go then."
As they went up the stairs to the Seventh year boys’ dorms, it struck Lily how far she'd come since her days as a scared eleven-year-old, when these same boys had managed to sit in a train compartment all the way from London to Hogsmeade without even noticing her. Life was a funny sort of thing.
"You know Sirius," she said with a giggle as they tiptoed past the Second year dorm. "Your life would've been much easier if you'd only broken the rules where you couldn't get caught."
"Yeah, but where's the fun in that?"
A very funny sort of thing.
***
The End.
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Date: 2004-06-10 00:01 (UTC)As for Remus... I know in OotP he said he didn't always do very much as a prefect to stop his friends... but I always thought he was the sort to try and stop it happening rather than punishing it when it happened. :D