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Some stuff and a survey
Firstly: The new Troy trailer rocks me to the very foundations of my socks. Peter O'Toole! Brad! Orlando! With long hair! Greek! Mythological! How I love it. How I cannot wait until May. MAN ALIVE! Here's hoping Senor Bloom becomes the new Richard Burton. Preferably without the Liz issues and drink problem :D
Secondly: Twas my mammy's birthday today. She seemed quite happy on the phone. This is good. Here's hoping her fine mood lasts as far as Sunday/Monday.
Thirdly: I did have a thirdly, but then I got into a Trojan conversation with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
rose_rain and forgot.
Fourthly: I remember now. It looks like Shergar, the famous racehorse, really was kidnapped and killed by the IRA. To which I say: bastards.
Fifthly: Becauseemony did such a good job on it, a Really Big Survey:
[YOUR NAME]
[1] The singular boring question: Clare.
[2] If you had been born a member of the opposite sex, what would your name have been? I have no idea. I don't think it was an issue, actually.
[3] Would you name a child of yours after you? No. Children should be allowed their own identity, free of as many shackles of their parents as possible.
[4] If you had to switch first names with a friend of yours, who would you switch with? I don't think I would... but if I was forced, perhaps Natasha, cos it means 'Christmas'
[5] What's the way people most often mispronounce any part of your name? Well, people always spell my first name wrong. Then they mispronounce my surname and misspell it. It's annoying to have to spell your ENTIRE name out at places.
[6] If you were to become famous, would you drop your last name (like Madonna, Cher, Roseanne)? I don't think so. I think I'd like everyone to know my surname. But how cool would just 'Clarabella' be?
[DEEP THEOLOGICAL QUESTIONS]
[7] Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell? I'm not sure that God is so cruel as to let people languish in Hell for all eternity. Purgatory perhaps. I do believe that God is essential a good, benevolent dude who loves us, man.
[8] Do you think God has a gender? I don't think God gives a shit. Don't you think S/He has more important things to think about than that.
[9] Do you think science counteracts religion? I think both science and religion can be used to prove what people want to prove.
[10] Do you believe in organized religion? I think, as the thirteenth apostle once said, that people took a good idea and made the mistake of building a belief system on top of it.
[11] Where do you think we go when we die? To an extent, I think that heaven may well be what we want it to be. Maybe there's a swimming pool and a bar. I hate that idea that people have to drink from the river Styx or whatever and forget. I couldn't stand the idea of people having to forget the world when they die.
[12] Do you feel a little funny thinking about the questions in this section? Nah, not really.
[HUMOR]
[13] How easy is it to make you laugh? It's very easy if they're actually funny.
[14] What person you know makes you laugh the most? Me, Natasha, John and Rachel all sat together with hot chocolate. Funny as. Shorthand lessons are usually the source of much merriment as well.
[15] Do you laugh at jokes you know you shouldn't? Sometimes... not because I agree but often you can appreciate the way the joke has been crafted. Genuinely cruel jokes don't make me laugh.
[16] Do you tell jokes you know you shouldn't? Probably sometimes.
[17] What words instantly make you laugh or at least smile? Smidgen, apparel, wrangle. Also scarf in a food context: 'I scarfed my food down.'
[18] What do you think is the funniest thing you've ever said or written? There are many things, but the thing that comes to mind first is 'ambiwinkstrous'.
[MUSIC]
[19] Do you ever dance to music when nobody's watching? I dance when people are watching, when they aren't. I dance here, I dance there. I even dance everywhere.
[20] What is/are the worst song(s)? Do not get me started. Suffice to say that 90% of music produced since 1980 is likely to incur my wrath. Suffice to say that if it's by Robbie Williams, I'll find no redeeming features.
[21] What song(s) do you wish you could understand a little better? Dunno, I usually have a pretty good idea of what they mean, what inspired the writers. I do remember being totally bamboozled by Peace Frog by the Doors originally, when it's one of their more obvious songs. I would like to know who both the Doors and Robert Plant are talking about when they sing, thirty years apart, about a 'pretty little girl with the red dress on.'
[22] What song(s) are constantly in your head? Many and varied. I had 'The Model' by Kraftwerk in my head earlier.
[23] What song(s) do you think describe your personality best? No single song can do that... there are many that reflect a certain part of my psyche.
[24] If you were to serenade the object of your affections, which song(s) would you use? What a bonkers question. Let me think. I suppose it depends who said object is. As the World Falls Down from Labyrinth, perhaps :))
[25] If the object of your affections were to serenade you, what song(s) would you hope he or she used? Again, it depends who, doesn't it? Something quite obscure by a band/singer I love so that I'd know they'd gone to some trouble to find something. Actually, I think I'd like them to get Robert Plant to sing 'If I Were A Carpenter' to me.
[MOVIES]
[26] What movie(s) do you love that nobody else seems to? Old films nobody else has heard of. I'm fairly sure I'm alone in thinking that The Adventures of Don Juan is a genuinely great parodic swashbuckler.
[27] Do you agree with the idea that sequels are always worse than the original? If the original was bad, of course. You can't polish a turd. But sometimes when the foundations are good, you can get wondrous things. The Godfather, for instance. Even the third movie is good (aside from Sofia). Back to the Future, Indiana Jones, too. NEVER when a sequel is made solely for money. You need to retain what made the original good- ie, writers, stars etc.
[28] Who's your favorite Star Wars character? I dislike Star Wars on a very deep level. However, Han was OK and the idea of Anakin/Vader is good but I don't think it gets explored very well.
[29] What kind of movie do you think there should be more of? Good movies. Movies that are made to make you genuinely feel good. I'd love to see a musical that is comparable to the old days, but it's not going to happen- the pool of talent is no longer there. I don't care what you say- Nicole and Renee cannot sing well.
[30] What movie(s) do you simply not understand the appeal of? Slasher movies and horror stuff. I just don't see how having the shit scared out of you is entertaining. Lowest common denominator stuff.
[FOOD]
[31] When eating, are you more concerned with taste or healthiness? Taste. I can't eat things I don't like- I just physically can't do it.
[32] What's your favorite kind of cheese? Fuck off, don't you know me at all?
[33] What do you think your answer to the previous question reveals about your personality? That I fucking hate cheese and hate the way that everything seems to be covered/filled with cheese.
[34] If you knew exactly what went into Chinese food, hamburger meat, would you still eat it? I do know. I still eat it. My dad's found cats in the freezers of Chinese restaurants in his Environmental Health job. I have enough faith in guys like him to not worry unduly. Life's too short anyway. What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger.
[35] Do you ever feel guilty eating meat? No. I can understand why people choose not to. I would rather animals were cared for, slaughtered as humanely as possible. I wouldn't eat animals that aren't meant to be eaten. But seriously, what else does one do with chickens and turkeys and cattle?
[COMPUTERS]
[36] Mac or PC? PC. I'm used to them, although I'm reliably informed macs are more reliably.
[37] How much do you actually care about the inner workings of your computer? As long as they work the way I want to, why should I care?
[38] Do you ever begin preferring IMs to other forms of conversation? No. I like to be able to see someone when I talk to them, which is why I don't like phones. But I prefer IM to phones.
[39] Do you find you're different talking through IMs than face-to-face or on the telephone? I don't like phones. I'm much the same on IM and face to face. My sarcasm is such that it doesn't suffer much- you can always tell when I'm being sarky- my lips are moving or I've just typed something.
[40] Have you ever ended bid on something on eBay and regretted it later? I've only ever bought a couple of things. I did start worrying that I shouldn't have bid on a 1940s wedding dress, though it was truly a thing of beauty. I didn't win anyway.
[THE BATTLE OF THE SEXES] *rolls eyes*
[41] Have you ever wished you could experience being the other gender? I often wondered this as a little girl when I wanted to play football. I think there are pros and cons to both. As long as we get treated equally, they should all cancel each other out.
[42] What do you love most about the other gender? Their total and utter inability to understand us. :)) Seriously... I don't know. The ability of some members of the opposite sex to get up on stage and seduce twenty thousand girls at any one time.
[43] What do you dislike most about the other gender? Their total and utter inability to understand us. :)) Actually, it doesn't hold true for all of them, but the suggestion that they're better than us. They're not better than us. Equally, we're not better than them. We're all people.
[44] What do you understand least about the other gender? Cricket.
[CELEBRITIES]
[45] Do you sometimes see a movie or watch a show just because a good-looking celebrity is in it? Well, I've seen Here on Earth, so what do you think?
[46] What celebrity's autograph do you want most? None. I mean, autographs are cool, but surely the best thing about them is managing to meet said celeb to get in person. Buying them is just... ink on a photo.
[47] Have people ever said you looked like a celebrity, and if so, who? Someone at the call centre where I used to work said I looked like a tennis player. One of the young Belgians, I think. I don't really look like anyone.
[48] If there was to be a movie about you, who do you think should play you (in personality, looks or both)? I would play myself.
[49] Does it ever annoy you when you know someone is a celebrity but you can't remember why? I know far too much to not know.
[50] If you could enter any celebrity's mind like in "Being John Malkovich", whose would you enter? Any one any time? Errol Flynn. Jim Morrison. I want to know what my poor, tragic-comic boys were really going through.
[51] Do you want to be John Malkovich? No. While I think he's a decent enough actor, I'm not that enamoured of him. And frankly, I didn't like the film much. Was good as Athos in The Man in the Iron Mask. Least said about his turn in Johnny English the better.
[NUMBERS]
[52] Do you laugh when you hear or read the number 69? Depends on the context. It's all about the context.
[53] Were you lying about your answer to the previous question? No.
[54] Do you actually know your Social Security Number? I did have one in the USA but I never needed to know it really cos I didn't work. I don't know my National Insurance number.
55] Do you actually know your IP address? No.
[56] Do you know what an IP address is? I have a vague idea.
[57] Do you know the four-character extension on your ZIP code? We didn't have one in Irvine. If pressed I might be able to remember that though. I don't remember numbers well.
[58] Ever thought there were too many numbers floating around in our lives? Fuck yeah. I'm not good with numbers.
[59] Does your head begin to hurt when you think of infinity, imaginary numbers, irrational numbers, etc? Infinity? Imaginary? Irrational? Que? I don't understand. Seriously- simple maths has me stumped most of the time.
[60] What do you think of pi? I think very little of it. It holds no sway over me because a: I don't give a shit and b: even if I did, I could never understand it.
[LOVE, SEX AND ALL THAT]
[61] Did you get a little frightened or uncomfortable seeing this as a section title? No. I have no fear.
[62] If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel? A little sad, I think.
[63] Do you prefer getting to know someone first before dating them or going in "blind"? Knowing someone, I think.
[64] Could you carry on a relationship with someone with the same first name as a family member? It's not advance brain surgery, i think I could cope.
[65] Have you ever wished it was more "socially acceptable" for a girl to ask a guy out? I've never thought about it.
[66] What's your opinion on sex without emotional commitment? I don't think it would be my scene, but whatever people want to do is up to them.
[67] Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive? No. I only ever fall in love with beautiful movie/rock stars.
[68] Do you think the opposite sex finds you good-looking? I don't imagine so, having seen myself in a mirror today. That said, I don't care.
[69] Would you be willing to give up sex in exchange for an emotional commitment you knew would last? How do you know it would last? Time machine? I don't know, having been reliably informed by Denise on This Morning that such commitments don't really last anyway. Do I care? No.
[70] Do you think the number of the last question was a coincidence? I don't care enough about this to care. I'm time wasting, man.
[POSSESSIONS]
[71] What is your favorite possession? Dunno. Laptop possibly. Or walkman. They're certainly things I can't live without. Perhaps my gold Fender Stratocaster (called Jimmy after Page. My classical guitar is called Robert, so I have Page and Plant :D)
[72] What physical, tangible possession do you want most? Right now, a Gibson Les Paul Jimmy Page special edition.
[73] How badly do you want it? It's not killing me or anything, but were I to be given lots of money tomorrow, I'd probably go get it.
[74] Have you ever seen 'The Exorcist'? Yeah. Well, I stopped watching after 20mins from chronic fucking boredom. Shit film.
[75] How long did it take you to understand why the last question is in this section? You're funny. Funny, funny, funny. Except not.
[HOLIDAYS]
[76] Does Christmas music too far away from Christmas annoy you? No, but I sing Rudolf The Red Nose Raindeer at all kinds of times. Listening to Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow! in the middle of a heatwave because of Die Hard is part of it, an all.
[77] How old do you think you will be before you stop liking getting older? Dunno. Don't care. You are only young once but can stay immature forever. Ogden Nash said it, I live it.
[78] What was the best Halloween costume you ever had? When I was about five years old, a witch costume to the only actual halloween party I've ever been to. I had this cool multi coloured face paint on and everything.
[81] There are currently no federal holidays during August-So make one up: Rock Star Day: August 20th, to celebrate Rock Stars across the universe on the shared birthday of Philip Lynott of Thin Lizzy and Robert Plant of Led Zeppelin.
[MEMORIES]
[82] How good is your short-term memory? Very short term is bad. Mid-short-term is OK. Depends how much i'm concentrating, really.
[83] How good is your long-term memory? Excellent.
[84] What is your earliest memory? There's a few. The label on my milk bottle at St. Scholastica's nursery school (two shire horses) and the famous 'let's pour tcp on the bee we just trod on' memory. A few fragments of Hackney, so around the ages of 2/3.
[85] What is your happiest memory? There are a few really. I'll always cherish California, but remembering rainy days at my house as a kid when Richard came to play and somehow we'd find something to do- be it fucking about playing at Tony Hart with clay or making up shit, we managed. Hell, we always had a good time whatever the weather. Manaing to wile away hours playing alone with Barbies.
[86] What is your strangest memory? Hmm. Interesting question. Trying to get to LA the first week of term in Irvine might be one.
[87] What movie/song would you like to memorize? Memorise? Well you only do that if you really love something... and I've already done it to the stuff I love.
[TEARS]
[88] What movie makes/made you cry? Hmm. I don't really cry much at movies unless someone on screen is crying themselves... I can't stand people crying in person or on screen cos I join them. Michael Collins had me hysterical the first time, though.
[89] What book makes/made you cry? I must admit that I cried towards the end of Captain Corelli's Mandolin... because it really fucking happened, you know?
[90] What song makes/made you cry? Bohemian Rhapsody. Because of Freddie, because of Richard, me and a childhood long ago spent dancing to it. Watching the Wheels by John Lennon because of John, because I love him, because he's dead and because it's a beautiful sentiment.
[91] What makes/made you laugh so hard you cried? This Joke: If a tin whistle is made of tin, what's a foghorn made of?
[THREE TRULY RANDOM QUESTIONS]
[92] Would you like to be cloned? No. I wouldn't even want John Lennon cloned. It's not our genetics that make us who we are but our experiences.
[93] Do you wish you could be alive when the world was ending, just to experience it? Sure. Why not? You only die once, so I just want to make sure I'm there for my own.
[94] Scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the fandango? I already am, darling!
[THIS SURVEY]
[95] Do you think that one hundred and one questions is too long? Not if they're interesting.
[96] Do you think the one hundred interesting questions actually were interesting? Not so much, not really.
[97] Are you sorry you began filling it out? Well I had better things to do, but it doesn't really matter.
[98] What question do you wish it had asked? Nothing.
[99] How would you have answered it? With some suitably dry remark, possibly referencing one or more dead men.
[THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT QUESTIONS]
[100] When was the last time you let the people you love know you love them? Sunday, when I told Natasha that she was my best friend and I loved her for it.
[101] What do you want the people who are reading this survey to know? That although I have better things to do than entertain them with this sidesplitting survey, I did it anyway. That I was listening to the Stranglers as I filled it out.
Secondly: Twas my mammy's birthday today. She seemed quite happy on the phone. This is good. Here's hoping her fine mood lasts as far as Sunday/Monday.
Thirdly: I did have a thirdly, but then I got into a Trojan conversation with
rose_rain and forgot.Fourthly: I remember now. It looks like Shergar, the famous racehorse, really was kidnapped and killed by the IRA. To which I say: bastards.
Fifthly: Because
emony did such a good job on it, a Really Big Survey:[YOUR NAME]
[1] The singular boring question: Clare.
[2] If you had been born a member of the opposite sex, what would your name have been? I have no idea. I don't think it was an issue, actually.
[3] Would you name a child of yours after you? No. Children should be allowed their own identity, free of as many shackles of their parents as possible.
[4] If you had to switch first names with a friend of yours, who would you switch with? I don't think I would... but if I was forced, perhaps Natasha, cos it means 'Christmas'
[5] What's the way people most often mispronounce any part of your name? Well, people always spell my first name wrong. Then they mispronounce my surname and misspell it. It's annoying to have to spell your ENTIRE name out at places.
[6] If you were to become famous, would you drop your last name (like Madonna, Cher, Roseanne)? I don't think so. I think I'd like everyone to know my surname. But how cool would just 'Clarabella' be?
[DEEP THEOLOGICAL QUESTIONS]
[7] Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell? I'm not sure that God is so cruel as to let people languish in Hell for all eternity. Purgatory perhaps. I do believe that God is essential a good, benevolent dude who loves us, man.
[8] Do you think God has a gender? I don't think God gives a shit. Don't you think S/He has more important things to think about than that.
[9] Do you think science counteracts religion? I think both science and religion can be used to prove what people want to prove.
[10] Do you believe in organized religion? I think, as the thirteenth apostle once said, that people took a good idea and made the mistake of building a belief system on top of it.
[11] Where do you think we go when we die? To an extent, I think that heaven may well be what we want it to be. Maybe there's a swimming pool and a bar. I hate that idea that people have to drink from the river Styx or whatever and forget. I couldn't stand the idea of people having to forget the world when they die.
[12] Do you feel a little funny thinking about the questions in this section? Nah, not really.
[HUMOR]
[13] How easy is it to make you laugh? It's very easy if they're actually funny.
[14] What person you know makes you laugh the most? Me, Natasha, John and Rachel all sat together with hot chocolate. Funny as. Shorthand lessons are usually the source of much merriment as well.
[15] Do you laugh at jokes you know you shouldn't? Sometimes... not because I agree but often you can appreciate the way the joke has been crafted. Genuinely cruel jokes don't make me laugh.
[16] Do you tell jokes you know you shouldn't? Probably sometimes.
[17] What words instantly make you laugh or at least smile? Smidgen, apparel, wrangle. Also scarf in a food context: 'I scarfed my food down.'
[18] What do you think is the funniest thing you've ever said or written? There are many things, but the thing that comes to mind first is 'ambiwinkstrous'.
[MUSIC]
[19] Do you ever dance to music when nobody's watching? I dance when people are watching, when they aren't. I dance here, I dance there. I even dance everywhere.
[20] What is/are the worst song(s)? Do not get me started. Suffice to say that 90% of music produced since 1980 is likely to incur my wrath. Suffice to say that if it's by Robbie Williams, I'll find no redeeming features.
[21] What song(s) do you wish you could understand a little better? Dunno, I usually have a pretty good idea of what they mean, what inspired the writers. I do remember being totally bamboozled by Peace Frog by the Doors originally, when it's one of their more obvious songs. I would like to know who both the Doors and Robert Plant are talking about when they sing, thirty years apart, about a 'pretty little girl with the red dress on.'
[22] What song(s) are constantly in your head? Many and varied. I had 'The Model' by Kraftwerk in my head earlier.
[23] What song(s) do you think describe your personality best? No single song can do that... there are many that reflect a certain part of my psyche.
[24] If you were to serenade the object of your affections, which song(s) would you use? What a bonkers question. Let me think. I suppose it depends who said object is. As the World Falls Down from Labyrinth, perhaps :))
[25] If the object of your affections were to serenade you, what song(s) would you hope he or she used? Again, it depends who, doesn't it? Something quite obscure by a band/singer I love so that I'd know they'd gone to some trouble to find something. Actually, I think I'd like them to get Robert Plant to sing 'If I Were A Carpenter' to me.
[MOVIES]
[26] What movie(s) do you love that nobody else seems to? Old films nobody else has heard of. I'm fairly sure I'm alone in thinking that The Adventures of Don Juan is a genuinely great parodic swashbuckler.
[27] Do you agree with the idea that sequels are always worse than the original? If the original was bad, of course. You can't polish a turd. But sometimes when the foundations are good, you can get wondrous things. The Godfather, for instance. Even the third movie is good (aside from Sofia). Back to the Future, Indiana Jones, too. NEVER when a sequel is made solely for money. You need to retain what made the original good- ie, writers, stars etc.
[28] Who's your favorite Star Wars character? I dislike Star Wars on a very deep level. However, Han was OK and the idea of Anakin/Vader is good but I don't think it gets explored very well.
[29] What kind of movie do you think there should be more of? Good movies. Movies that are made to make you genuinely feel good. I'd love to see a musical that is comparable to the old days, but it's not going to happen- the pool of talent is no longer there. I don't care what you say- Nicole and Renee cannot sing well.
[30] What movie(s) do you simply not understand the appeal of? Slasher movies and horror stuff. I just don't see how having the shit scared out of you is entertaining. Lowest common denominator stuff.
[FOOD]
[31] When eating, are you more concerned with taste or healthiness? Taste. I can't eat things I don't like- I just physically can't do it.
[32] What's your favorite kind of cheese? Fuck off, don't you know me at all?
[33] What do you think your answer to the previous question reveals about your personality? That I fucking hate cheese and hate the way that everything seems to be covered/filled with cheese.
[34] If you knew exactly what went into Chinese food, hamburger meat, would you still eat it? I do know. I still eat it. My dad's found cats in the freezers of Chinese restaurants in his Environmental Health job. I have enough faith in guys like him to not worry unduly. Life's too short anyway. What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger.
[35] Do you ever feel guilty eating meat? No. I can understand why people choose not to. I would rather animals were cared for, slaughtered as humanely as possible. I wouldn't eat animals that aren't meant to be eaten. But seriously, what else does one do with chickens and turkeys and cattle?
[COMPUTERS]
[36] Mac or PC? PC. I'm used to them, although I'm reliably informed macs are more reliably.
[37] How much do you actually care about the inner workings of your computer? As long as they work the way I want to, why should I care?
[38] Do you ever begin preferring IMs to other forms of conversation? No. I like to be able to see someone when I talk to them, which is why I don't like phones. But I prefer IM to phones.
[39] Do you find you're different talking through IMs than face-to-face or on the telephone? I don't like phones. I'm much the same on IM and face to face. My sarcasm is such that it doesn't suffer much- you can always tell when I'm being sarky- my lips are moving or I've just typed something.
[40] Have you ever ended bid on something on eBay and regretted it later? I've only ever bought a couple of things. I did start worrying that I shouldn't have bid on a 1940s wedding dress, though it was truly a thing of beauty. I didn't win anyway.
[THE BATTLE OF THE SEXES] *rolls eyes*
[41] Have you ever wished you could experience being the other gender? I often wondered this as a little girl when I wanted to play football. I think there are pros and cons to both. As long as we get treated equally, they should all cancel each other out.
[42] What do you love most about the other gender? Their total and utter inability to understand us. :)) Seriously... I don't know. The ability of some members of the opposite sex to get up on stage and seduce twenty thousand girls at any one time.
[43] What do you dislike most about the other gender? Their total and utter inability to understand us. :)) Actually, it doesn't hold true for all of them, but the suggestion that they're better than us. They're not better than us. Equally, we're not better than them. We're all people.
[44] What do you understand least about the other gender? Cricket.
[CELEBRITIES]
[45] Do you sometimes see a movie or watch a show just because a good-looking celebrity is in it? Well, I've seen Here on Earth, so what do you think?
[46] What celebrity's autograph do you want most? None. I mean, autographs are cool, but surely the best thing about them is managing to meet said celeb to get in person. Buying them is just... ink on a photo.
[47] Have people ever said you looked like a celebrity, and if so, who? Someone at the call centre where I used to work said I looked like a tennis player. One of the young Belgians, I think. I don't really look like anyone.
[48] If there was to be a movie about you, who do you think should play you (in personality, looks or both)? I would play myself.
[49] Does it ever annoy you when you know someone is a celebrity but you can't remember why? I know far too much to not know.
[50] If you could enter any celebrity's mind like in "Being John Malkovich", whose would you enter? Any one any time? Errol Flynn. Jim Morrison. I want to know what my poor, tragic-comic boys were really going through.
[51] Do you want to be John Malkovich? No. While I think he's a decent enough actor, I'm not that enamoured of him. And frankly, I didn't like the film much. Was good as Athos in The Man in the Iron Mask. Least said about his turn in Johnny English the better.
[NUMBERS]
[52] Do you laugh when you hear or read the number 69? Depends on the context. It's all about the context.
[53] Were you lying about your answer to the previous question? No.
[54] Do you actually know your Social Security Number? I did have one in the USA but I never needed to know it really cos I didn't work. I don't know my National Insurance number.
55] Do you actually know your IP address? No.
[56] Do you know what an IP address is? I have a vague idea.
[57] Do you know the four-character extension on your ZIP code? We didn't have one in Irvine. If pressed I might be able to remember that though. I don't remember numbers well.
[58] Ever thought there were too many numbers floating around in our lives? Fuck yeah. I'm not good with numbers.
[59] Does your head begin to hurt when you think of infinity, imaginary numbers, irrational numbers, etc? Infinity? Imaginary? Irrational? Que? I don't understand. Seriously- simple maths has me stumped most of the time.
[60] What do you think of pi? I think very little of it. It holds no sway over me because a: I don't give a shit and b: even if I did, I could never understand it.
[LOVE, SEX AND ALL THAT]
[61] Did you get a little frightened or uncomfortable seeing this as a section title? No. I have no fear.
[62] If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel? A little sad, I think.
[63] Do you prefer getting to know someone first before dating them or going in "blind"? Knowing someone, I think.
[64] Could you carry on a relationship with someone with the same first name as a family member? It's not advance brain surgery, i think I could cope.
[65] Have you ever wished it was more "socially acceptable" for a girl to ask a guy out? I've never thought about it.
[66] What's your opinion on sex without emotional commitment? I don't think it would be my scene, but whatever people want to do is up to them.
[67] Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive? No. I only ever fall in love with beautiful movie/rock stars.
[68] Do you think the opposite sex finds you good-looking? I don't imagine so, having seen myself in a mirror today. That said, I don't care.
[69] Would you be willing to give up sex in exchange for an emotional commitment you knew would last? How do you know it would last? Time machine? I don't know, having been reliably informed by Denise on This Morning that such commitments don't really last anyway. Do I care? No.
[70] Do you think the number of the last question was a coincidence? I don't care enough about this to care. I'm time wasting, man.
[POSSESSIONS]
[71] What is your favorite possession? Dunno. Laptop possibly. Or walkman. They're certainly things I can't live without. Perhaps my gold Fender Stratocaster (called Jimmy after Page. My classical guitar is called Robert, so I have Page and Plant :D)
[72] What physical, tangible possession do you want most? Right now, a Gibson Les Paul Jimmy Page special edition.
[73] How badly do you want it? It's not killing me or anything, but were I to be given lots of money tomorrow, I'd probably go get it.
[74] Have you ever seen 'The Exorcist'? Yeah. Well, I stopped watching after 20mins from chronic fucking boredom. Shit film.
[75] How long did it take you to understand why the last question is in this section? You're funny. Funny, funny, funny. Except not.
[HOLIDAYS]
[76] Does Christmas music too far away from Christmas annoy you? No, but I sing Rudolf The Red Nose Raindeer at all kinds of times. Listening to Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow! in the middle of a heatwave because of Die Hard is part of it, an all.
[77] How old do you think you will be before you stop liking getting older? Dunno. Don't care. You are only young once but can stay immature forever. Ogden Nash said it, I live it.
[78] What was the best Halloween costume you ever had? When I was about five years old, a witch costume to the only actual halloween party I've ever been to. I had this cool multi coloured face paint on and everything.
[81] There are currently no federal holidays during August-So make one up: Rock Star Day: August 20th, to celebrate Rock Stars across the universe on the shared birthday of Philip Lynott of Thin Lizzy and Robert Plant of Led Zeppelin.
[MEMORIES]
[82] How good is your short-term memory? Very short term is bad. Mid-short-term is OK. Depends how much i'm concentrating, really.
[83] How good is your long-term memory? Excellent.
[84] What is your earliest memory? There's a few. The label on my milk bottle at St. Scholastica's nursery school (two shire horses) and the famous 'let's pour tcp on the bee we just trod on' memory. A few fragments of Hackney, so around the ages of 2/3.
[85] What is your happiest memory? There are a few really. I'll always cherish California, but remembering rainy days at my house as a kid when Richard came to play and somehow we'd find something to do- be it fucking about playing at Tony Hart with clay or making up shit, we managed. Hell, we always had a good time whatever the weather. Manaing to wile away hours playing alone with Barbies.
[86] What is your strangest memory? Hmm. Interesting question. Trying to get to LA the first week of term in Irvine might be one.
[87] What movie/song would you like to memorize? Memorise? Well you only do that if you really love something... and I've already done it to the stuff I love.
[TEARS]
[88] What movie makes/made you cry? Hmm. I don't really cry much at movies unless someone on screen is crying themselves... I can't stand people crying in person or on screen cos I join them. Michael Collins had me hysterical the first time, though.
[89] What book makes/made you cry? I must admit that I cried towards the end of Captain Corelli's Mandolin... because it really fucking happened, you know?
[90] What song makes/made you cry? Bohemian Rhapsody. Because of Freddie, because of Richard, me and a childhood long ago spent dancing to it. Watching the Wheels by John Lennon because of John, because I love him, because he's dead and because it's a beautiful sentiment.
[91] What makes/made you laugh so hard you cried? This Joke: If a tin whistle is made of tin, what's a foghorn made of?
[THREE TRULY RANDOM QUESTIONS]
[92] Would you like to be cloned? No. I wouldn't even want John Lennon cloned. It's not our genetics that make us who we are but our experiences.
[93] Do you wish you could be alive when the world was ending, just to experience it? Sure. Why not? You only die once, so I just want to make sure I'm there for my own.
[94] Scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the fandango? I already am, darling!
[THIS SURVEY]
[95] Do you think that one hundred and one questions is too long? Not if they're interesting.
[96] Do you think the one hundred interesting questions actually were interesting? Not so much, not really.
[97] Are you sorry you began filling it out? Well I had better things to do, but it doesn't really matter.
[98] What question do you wish it had asked? Nothing.
[99] How would you have answered it? With some suitably dry remark, possibly referencing one or more dead men.
[THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT QUESTIONS]
[100] When was the last time you let the people you love know you love them? Sunday, when I told Natasha that she was my best friend and I loved her for it.
[101] What do you want the people who are reading this survey to know? That although I have better things to do than entertain them with this sidesplitting survey, I did it anyway. That I was listening to the Stranglers as I filled it out.