YM Etiquette and Me

I'm just going to weigh in on this one so that people know where I'm coming from. I've read Callie's posts and Zorb's and the original posts and I have to say that they make a lot of sense to me, and that it's a bit of a shame that this has to be an issue but it's not insane to think that it has.

The Context of The Clare In Y!M

I don't chat to that many people. I'm not by any stretch of the imagination a BNF or particularly involved in RPGing, which seems to be a key to the problematic nature of Y!M for people. So, if you see me visible with one of my comic or music related statuses, I'm probably not busy. I've got a couple of other statuses marked as busy for when I won't be away from the computer for long.

Because I'm on a laptop, I turn my computer off if I'm not going to be on it, so unless it's literally just 'going for dinner' or 'in the bath', the computer is off. Sometimes, I'm even on the big computer and I've shut Y!M down completely to play The Sims 2.

I might not be there because sometimes I log in on the 'big' computer (family computer) and simply forget to log out or reset my status message or go invisible. Because it's broadband, the net is always on, even if I've been at work for the last eight hours. If I don't respond although I seem to be online, and it's, broadly speaking, between 0700-1700 GMT, I'm really not there. Sometimes I might be off downstairs mocking my dad or making spaghetti or watching something on the TV that caught my attention as I passed it by.

Sometimes I just get distracted by something away from the computer for 10mins or three hours and simply forget that I was on the computer at all. If I don't respond, it's because I'm not there.

I always log into Y!M under invisible. Sometimes I'm literally just going on for two minutes before work to see if I got email over night, usually if I've posted on LJ and hope people have responded. Sometimes I'm on and invisible because I've forgotten to log in or because I'm doing something specific and don't want to get distracted. Sometimes I don't come off invisible if most people on my list are themselves offline. Sometimes I just don't want to chat, but these times are few and far between because I'm a longwinded bint.

If you ping me and I'm down as away/busy, then I'm away/busy. If you ping me and I'm invisible, I'm probably not there. If I am there, I will reply, because it's very rare that I'm invisible to actively avoid chatting. Some days I'm very talkative, some days I'm a normal amount of talkative.

Now, from the other side. I do occasionally ping people when they've got their away messages up. Usually I start with "I know you're busy so feel free to ignore-" because I will not take offence if you don't reply or if you tell me to sod off.

If someone is invisible but I think there's a chance they might be there, I might ping with something like "Dunno if you're there, but-" and again I will not take offence if you don't reply or if you tell me to sod off.

Hell, if your status is listed as "Feel free to chat with me! Chatty over here" and you still don't want to talk to me I will not take offence if you don't want to talk to me.

It seems to be about offence here- people don't want to cause it by telling people they're not up for chatting, and I dig that. I understand it, and I certainly wouldn't want to hurt someone or offend them myself. However, if you don't want to chat with me, then tell me you don't want to, because I won't be hurt or offended. Unless you're like "FUCK OFF BITCH!" in which case, I'd suggest you work on your people skills.

To me, it's about being direct and honest, but also polite. All I need is a "Look, I'm not really up for chat at the moment" from you, and I'll go. I mean, I've been known to chat for literally twelve hours with people, and I'm very, very longwinded. I know people don't dig that all the time, and I'm more than happy to naff off if people don't want to be bothered. All you have to do is say so. A lot of people apparently do take offence, so I can see why this has become an issue in this festering wankfest of a fandom, but as far as I'm concerned, I won't take offence.

And that's the Y!M Etiquette thing from my perspective. I'm not saying I'm right or anyone else is OMGWRONGANDMUSTBEEVIL. It's just my perspective.

YM Etiquette and Me

I'm just going to weigh in on this one so that people know where I'm coming from. I've read Callie's posts and Zorb's and the original posts and I have to say that they make a lot of sense to me, and that it's a bit of a shame that this has to be an issue but it's not insane to think that it has.

The Context of The Clare In Y!M

I don't chat to that many people. I'm not by any stretch of the imagination a BNF or particularly involved in RPGing, which seems to be a key to the problematic nature of Y!M for people. So, if you see me visible with one of my comic or music related statuses, I'm probably not busy. I've got a couple of other statuses marked as busy for when I won't be away from the computer for long.

Because I'm on a laptop, I turn my computer off if I'm not going to be on it, so unless it's literally just 'going for dinner' or 'in the bath', the computer is off. Sometimes, I'm even on the big computer and I've shut Y!M down completely to play The Sims 2.

I might not be there because sometimes I log in on the 'big' computer (family computer) and simply forget to log out or reset my status message or go invisible. Because it's broadband, the net is always on, even if I've been at work for the last eight hours. If I don't respond although I seem to be online, and it's, broadly speaking, between 0700-1700 GMT, I'm really not there. Sometimes I might be off downstairs mocking my dad or making spaghetti or watching something on the TV that caught my attention as I passed it by.

Sometimes I just get distracted by something away from the computer for 10mins or three hours and simply forget that I was on the computer at all. If I don't respond, it's because I'm not there.

I always log into Y!M under invisible. Sometimes I'm literally just going on for two minutes before work to see if I got email over night, usually if I've posted on LJ and hope people have responded. Sometimes I'm on and invisible because I've forgotten to log in or because I'm doing something specific and don't want to get distracted. Sometimes I don't come off invisible if most people on my list are themselves offline. Sometimes I just don't want to chat, but these times are few and far between because I'm a longwinded bint.

If you ping me and I'm down as away/busy, then I'm away/busy. If you ping me and I'm invisible, I'm probably not there. If I am there, I will reply, because it's very rare that I'm invisible to actively avoid chatting. Some days I'm very talkative, some days I'm a normal amount of talkative.

Now, from the other side. I do occasionally ping people when they've got their away messages up. Usually I start with "I know you're busy so feel free to ignore-" because I will not take offence if you don't reply or if you tell me to sod off.

If someone is invisible but I think there's a chance they might be there, I might ping with something like "Dunno if you're there, but-" and again I will not take offence if you don't reply or if you tell me to sod off.

Hell, if your status is listed as "Feel free to chat with me! Chatty over here" and you still don't want to talk to me I will not take offence if you don't want to talk to me.

It seems to be about offence here- people don't want to cause it by telling people they're not up for chatting, and I dig that. I understand it, and I certainly wouldn't want to hurt someone or offend them myself. However, if you don't want to chat with me, then tell me you don't want to, because I won't be hurt or offended. Unless you're like "FUCK OFF BITCH!" in which case, I'd suggest you work on your people skills.

To me, it's about being direct and honest, but also polite. All I need is a "Look, I'm not really up for chat at the moment" from you, and I'll go. I mean, I've been known to chat for literally twelve hours with people, and I'm very, very longwinded. I know people don't dig that all the time, and I'm more than happy to naff off if people don't want to be bothered. All you have to do is say so. A lot of people apparently do take offence, so I can see why this has become an issue in this festering wankfest of a fandom, but as far as I'm concerned, I won't take offence.

And that's the Y!M Etiquette thing from my perspective. I'm not saying I'm right or anyone else is OMGWRONGANDMUSTBEEVIL. It's just my perspective.

I SO didn't need to answer 27 idiot questions to be told this.

A 'which Beatle are you' meme:

 

( Clickity click )

I SO didn't need to answer 27 idiot questions to be told this.

A 'which Beatle are you' meme:

 

( Clickity click )