You know you're totally bloody insane when:

You know you're totally cracked when you:

- Don't have anything to eat before heading off to class, not even a fucking Rocky bar.
- Actually stay, even though the teach doesn't turn up in the first hour, and only does when someone in the class reminds him he's meant to be, like teaching us. When you stay even though he's talking about stuff you don't care about yet.
- Still don't have anything but a bottle of Diet Coke which is finished before you leave class.
- Walk up a big fucking hill with Lynsie to her house at quite rapid speed wearing your big fuzzy fake-weasel-fur coat on the warmest day so far this year.
- Wonder why the fuck you nearly faint twice at Lynsie's house before being force fed Thai Bites by your friend, who is concerned you're now looking like a really, really tired vampire.
- Go all the way into Newcastle for mortadella. 200g of the stuff. And 50g of Parma Ham, despite that that's about four slices for £1.50. Even the M&S packets are cheaper. All this and you're an impoverished student.
- Time it so fabulously that you've got to get the Metro back from Newcastle during rush hour with lots of Tyne & Wear sorts.
-Scoff lots when you get home.
- Fall asleep until about ten to ten. Good luck getting to sleep for real tonight.
- Scoff more, even though the cold meat you went all the way to Newcastle for doesn't exactly come cheap.
- Fuck about at five past three in the morning writing pointless fucking lists like this.

You know you're totally bloody insane when:

You know you're totally cracked when you:

- Don't have anything to eat before heading off to class, not even a fucking Rocky bar.
- Actually stay, even though the teach doesn't turn up in the first hour, and only does when someone in the class reminds him he's meant to be, like teaching us. When you stay even though he's talking about stuff you don't care about yet.
- Still don't have anything but a bottle of Diet Coke which is finished before you leave class.
- Walk up a big fucking hill with Lynsie to her house at quite rapid speed wearing your big fuzzy fake-weasel-fur coat on the warmest day so far this year.
- Wonder why the fuck you nearly faint twice at Lynsie's house before being force fed Thai Bites by your friend, who is concerned you're now looking like a really, really tired vampire.
- Go all the way into Newcastle for mortadella. 200g of the stuff. And 50g of Parma Ham, despite that that's about four slices for £1.50. Even the M&S packets are cheaper. All this and you're an impoverished student.
- Time it so fabulously that you've got to get the Metro back from Newcastle during rush hour with lots of Tyne & Wear sorts.
-Scoff lots when you get home.
- Fall asleep until about ten to ten. Good luck getting to sleep for real tonight.
- Scoff more, even though the cold meat you went all the way to Newcastle for doesn't exactly come cheap.
- Fuck about at five past three in the morning writing pointless fucking lists like this.