Am not well....

My head is fuzzy, I feel a fever coming on and my best pal has given me her cold.

I get very susceptible when I'm sick. By that I mean that things like tv ads which I sneer at when well suddenly seem fantastic. Last night a Stella Artois ad came on. Now I love Stella. My granddad worked for Whitbread breweries, so you could say that I grew up with the stuff. But never before have I actually watched an advert for it and thought "well gosh, I'd really like one of those right now."

Then today... Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark was on telly. Now, I haven't seen any of the Indy pictures in years and years, although my dad always liked The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles or whatever they're called. I'm not what you'd call a huge fan of Harrison Ford, although I think he's great and one day I'd like to afford his carpentry skills. But today, no, I had to be sickly and thinking "well gosh, isn't Indy fantastic? I think I'd brave a pit full of snakes for Indy." What do I care about Indiana bloody Jones? Is v. cool action movie, but since when did I give a rat's arse about Harrison Ford's smirk? Hmmm? I hate being sick.

Then comes the crowning glory of Clare's Adventures into Passive Consumerism, I'm watching Bandolero!, a barmy western starring James Stewart and one of my all-time favourite people, Dean Martin. Raquel Welch is in it too. I start squeeing the second Dean comes on-screen, which isn't entirely unusual but normally I try to control myself. Then suddenly Jimmy starts lecturing his on-screen bro (Dino) about how he should stop being a gun-toting bank robber and settle down in Montana. And Dino starts on about how he used to want it but it's so long since he's seen a woman he can even respect, let alone settle down with (meanwhile, Raquel is conveniently in shot). Now, do I just sit down and calmly watch, possibly considering the mise en scene and larger themes of the western genre? No, no, no. I start bouncing up and down and declare that I'd bugger off to Montana with him! This is the same girl who declared during a conversation about Legends of the Fall that Montana only looks 'OK'. Oh, and y'know, the film was made thirty five years ago and Dean's been dead for eight years. I'm mad, I swear. Then, I pay only a little attention to it (I'm taping it for when I'm, you know, not delirious). Obligatory Big Shoot-Out ensues. My Dino gets shot! I'm on the bloody floor by this point. I don't take the screen deaths of my boys well when I'm at the peak of physical health, so this was absolutely horrifying! And he didn't even sing. It's not fair!

It was an odd film anyway. I don't know if James Stewart bought it an' all- I stopped paying attention after Dean died in his Raquel's arms. I'll watch it again when I'm not bonkers and let you know (as if you care).

So.... I will not watch commercial programming until I can distinguish between advertising ploys and my own personal thoughts. I will not watch anything with charismatic actors with nice smiles and I will not watch anything that could even possibly involve the on-screen death of any heroes of mine.. If it features so much as them getting a paper cut, I will not watch. At least, not until I am well. In the meantime I will sup endless hot chocolates at the Venue and noisily blame Natasha for giving me her cold.

Hope you all had a good weekend- happy mother's day (everywhere, it seems, except GB) to everyone to whom this might apply!

Am not well....

My head is fuzzy, I feel a fever coming on and my best pal has given me her cold.

I get very susceptible when I'm sick. By that I mean that things like tv ads which I sneer at when well suddenly seem fantastic. Last night a Stella Artois ad came on. Now I love Stella. My granddad worked for Whitbread breweries, so you could say that I grew up with the stuff. But never before have I actually watched an advert for it and thought "well gosh, I'd really like one of those right now."

Then today... Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark was on telly. Now, I haven't seen any of the Indy pictures in years and years, although my dad always liked The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles or whatever they're called. I'm not what you'd call a huge fan of Harrison Ford, although I think he's great and one day I'd like to afford his carpentry skills. But today, no, I had to be sickly and thinking "well gosh, isn't Indy fantastic? I think I'd brave a pit full of snakes for Indy." What do I care about Indiana bloody Jones? Is v. cool action movie, but since when did I give a rat's arse about Harrison Ford's smirk? Hmmm? I hate being sick.

Then comes the crowning glory of Clare's Adventures into Passive Consumerism, I'm watching Bandolero!, a barmy western starring James Stewart and one of my all-time favourite people, Dean Martin. Raquel Welch is in it too. I start squeeing the second Dean comes on-screen, which isn't entirely unusual but normally I try to control myself. Then suddenly Jimmy starts lecturing his on-screen bro (Dino) about how he should stop being a gun-toting bank robber and settle down in Montana. And Dino starts on about how he used to want it but it's so long since he's seen a woman he can even respect, let alone settle down with (meanwhile, Raquel is conveniently in shot). Now, do I just sit down and calmly watch, possibly considering the mise en scene and larger themes of the western genre? No, no, no. I start bouncing up and down and declare that I'd bugger off to Montana with him! This is the same girl who declared during a conversation about Legends of the Fall that Montana only looks 'OK'. Oh, and y'know, the film was made thirty five years ago and Dean's been dead for eight years. I'm mad, I swear. Then, I pay only a little attention to it (I'm taping it for when I'm, you know, not delirious). Obligatory Big Shoot-Out ensues. My Dino gets shot! I'm on the bloody floor by this point. I don't take the screen deaths of my boys well when I'm at the peak of physical health, so this was absolutely horrifying! And he didn't even sing. It's not fair!

It was an odd film anyway. I don't know if James Stewart bought it an' all- I stopped paying attention after Dean died in his Raquel's arms. I'll watch it again when I'm not bonkers and let you know (as if you care).

So.... I will not watch commercial programming until I can distinguish between advertising ploys and my own personal thoughts. I will not watch anything with charismatic actors with nice smiles and I will not watch anything that could even possibly involve the on-screen death of any heroes of mine.. If it features so much as them getting a paper cut, I will not watch. At least, not until I am well. In the meantime I will sup endless hot chocolates at the Venue and noisily blame Natasha for giving me her cold.

Hope you all had a good weekend- happy mother's day (everywhere, it seems, except GB) to everyone to whom this might apply!